Gizmodo
Hello, I'm a sexy lady who has been Swarovski-encrusted by my PR people in order to publicize something called the Urban Performer Unit. It's basically a handbag with a little pocket for your iPod which enables you to control your music from the outside of your bag. Nice idea, don't you think? There is, however, one slightly disturbing thing about this Austrian-designed purse:
It's unisex. Yes, all you rugged and slightly dishevelled types (NutBastard, I mean you) fear no more about being an outmoded man in a metrosexual world, for you too can pick up the Urban Performer Unit. Pick It Up, I said, and you will be transformed into a rhinestone cowboy in an instant.
This is my favorite picture. Look! He's using his ManBag to play a geetar riff for RockBand, with nary a bead of sweat to disturb the Swarovski swoosh on his face. I think I'd like to see him use his mascara wand as a drumstick, and tackle Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me.
This is what the Urban Performer Unit looks like from the inside. There's also room for your other gadgets, like PDA, cellphone, Hadron Collider and so on and so forth. Available in time for Christmas, the black leather purse is priced at just under $520. And perhaps you should know that it's made by a company called Urban Tools. For tools, presumably. [UrbanTool via Talk2MyShirt]
Comments
Hehe...
Addy called out nutbastard on his unkempt appearance.
Wallet, iPod, iPhone, earbuds, pen, CHECK.
Okay I'm ready for my busy day as an urban fop.
Specifically designed to save you and you mugger's time.
Somehow I am having trouble seeing this coordinate with Nutbastards hawaiian shirts.....
Wowwww. Wooowww. Yeh. Hmmm. No.
I just... I can't...
Speachless.
UPU's are for the gender challenged.
Totally a chick purse. The dude carrying it is wearing make up. Come on.
@jawzxy: Yeah, I'm all aboard the no comment train on this one. *shudder*
WTF is up with that guy's forehead?
uhhh yeah. just ONE thing for the muggers to steal...
then they don't have to rummage through your pockets... but hey. the model might like that.
MANPURSE!!! BAD IDEA!!!
there's nothing unisex about that purse, I mean c'mon the dude (i use that term loosely) has make up on his face (and he couldn't even cover up that zit or mole right above his eyebrow)
@pyrokotik: dude, that's a beauty mark. I mean, look at Cindy Crawford. She has one.
On the other hand, just look at Cindy Crawford. Just for the sake of it. Still looks good at 41. Not that that's old or anything.
@pyrokotik:
According to his belt buckle he won some kind of Ultimate Fighting match, so he's got that going for him.
I'm more worried about what appears to be intake fans carved into that guy's forehead.
It is for men, women, AND androids.
I love the nutbastard comment. I know he would feel right at home with that bag on his side! Then he could throw on his purdie, pink panties and portray Old MaryJane rotten crotch!
he is trying so hard not smile in one of the photos. yes - its you with a purse with crystals on it. wonder if his buddies have seen that pic?
...520 bucks for THAT? No thanks, I'll use my good ol' regular purse and take my gadgets out to control them.
It's a man bag purse for man bear pigs.
Maybe instead of unisex, should be billed as asexual. He doesn't deserve to be called a man anymore.
It's actually a portable power supply/ipod interface for cyborgs.
that.is.so.gay.
bringing this guy's toolship to a new level, who needs to carry an ipod AND an iphone? further proof that it is only successful because it's apple. so easy to use, and still urban tools cant figure it out
"...There's also room for your other gadgets, like PDA, cellphone, Hadron Collider and so on and so forth."
Funny thing is that there are two Apple products, right there in the last picture. Gizmodo felt bad with the "metrosexual" label, huh? I guess there's no sense pointing it out if it seriously reduces your iWorshipness level.
Oh, and on the product page, you can see that the purse/urban-tool/hand-thingy from your aunt Edna, has 5 buttons that can control your iPod.
Again, another thing I see Giz doesn't point out since this seems to me another dedicated accessory.
Is it bulletproof? He'll need that option too.
when the revolution comes, guys carrying these are DEFINETLY first against the wall
I have loads of confidence in my man-hood; however, that sissy bag would crush it. PASS.
That guy's hot. I'm talkin "David Bowie in Labyrinth" hot. I'll bet he hangs out with muppets, too.
Is there something wrong with keeping your gadgets in your jacket pocket? Just curious.
OMG.
Come on, lets all throw in a couple $$ and get nutbastard one! I bet he'd LOVE walking around with a man-purse!
@Geisrud: ...and if you carry one of those things, the label will be "ain't-gettin-no-sex-ual"
Judging from that guys forehead, and the design of that PURSE.....Both got hit with the proverbial ugly stick...
I usually carry a messenger bag (call it what you will) & even I would beat this "individual" with my man-purse!
Ahhh! Large Hadron Collider, doom is nigh, for soon we shall collide our planet to death! DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Oh right... and that purse is fugly. Thankfully it will be obliterated with the rest of the universe.
In the words of John Candy
Take this quarter.
Go downtown...
and have a rat gnaw that thing
off your face.
does the bejewled klingon look come standard?
So sad. One more example of European marketing departments thinking they understand the hip urban market. Unfortunately, they are usually not hip or urban- so they make their best guess. This company is probably in some small valley in the Alps and they are trying to imagine some bizarro-hipster-disco-ice-dancing world where some idiot might possibly think this is a compelling product. Global marketing strategies could use be fewer marketing visionaries and more anthropologists...
On the upside- not all Austrians look this toolish.
Just a little bit larger and it would be The Manilla Envelope Killer!... the much safer... MacBook Airbag!
... that incredulous eyebrow thing on the model's forehead (I hope it's mascara) might indicats he's a closet newscaster/presenter.
A comment from NutBastard's is glaringly absent from this thread so far...
Oh man, I want to send them hate mail.
@Geisrud: Indeed!
BRING FORTH THE NUTTED ONE!
To quote Seinfeld: "It's not a purse, it's Euro..err..Australian"
As for the people in the pics...how can you NOT feel like a total -tard posing like that?
NutBastard must have been fired on his day off!
@Geisrud: @strider_mt2k: The "Nutted One" isnt up yet, (those lazy Californians) but I am sure he will be thrilled to know he was being talked about.
what a douche
@islandhopper: Nono, nutbastard is very cool! ;)
buy this and put a hummer v2 phone in it... it'll make you the tool of the year... oh how lovely! ;)
@strider_mt2k: lol, i meant the guy in the pic... unless that IS the aforementioned nutbastard, then, well....
Could we please invent something just a bit more gay.
@P3nnst8r:
are you serial?
@klamerus: his forehead looks like maybe he's been fixing the muffler on his truck.
You only use the word "urban" because a black person is holding the bag.
Caught on camera with a Temporary Bedazzled Facial Tattoo and a purse...
He didn't catch enough ass whoopings in school
@flyboy:
maybe the truck fixed him?
first off congrats to Nut for making a post today. secondly, is this guy like the bastard offspring of Worf and Queer Eye guys...
Just a question
and where is NutBastard to defend his honor.....his witty banter is always amusing....gotta luv the guy
TO whomever designed this uncouth catastrophe of ignorance, You should never be allowed to touch overpriced lead crystals, makeup or an ipod. This is worse than the laser game.
Ufocaps suck!
Peace
Im guessing NutBastard isnt awake yet.
what the fuck is on his face?
Aw come on guys, it's the updated "European Carry-All". Did anyone inform Jerry about this?
I have one of these for my Palm III. I'll sell it for..$320???
well it's about 8:10am where nutbastard is... If he's like the Californians I know he should be up and reading giz in oh, about 4 hours
Okay, I think the picture of him "playing" the bag may actually beat the douchery of the Beamz. I think the face paint and crystals put it over the top.