"Johnny!"

"Yes, Miss Gundersen?"

"What are you doing lying under little Cindy's bench?"

"I...I'm just looking up at the TV, Miss Gundersen, that's all."

i think we have enough screen time already.
geeky idea: could they put the screen on top so i can put it over my lap when i read in bed (like one of those breakfast in bed things). like a Kindle with legs.

Now this is the technological direction I'm talking about. Screw that hand gesture dance around computing and interactive Wii crap.

I want to be able to roll over, pick up my monitor, roll back over, put the monitor over my head, and have finished my physical activity for the day no more than 30 seconds after I've woken up.

@bosskev

Wrong modo!!!

Really? Really? Do we really need such constant stimulation that even nap-fracking-time requires a device to entertain, as opposed to, I don't know, nap? Sound of Music album? I my day we had to hum, and we liked it, ...yadayadayada curmudgen talk.

If this goes beyond concept, whoever manufactures it should also be responsible for supplying the rest of us with Ritalin blowgun darts, so we can take the edge off of cranky, non-napped kids at the mall or movies.

And I have been propping myself in bed to see the TV all this time like a chump.

I usually just put the laptop on its side when i want to watch something laying down. I never lay on my back, so this would be useless to me, unless it included iPhone-like orientation sensors.

Hey i wonder what an iPhone would do in zero G?

the need to move at all is getting less and less every day...

@daversW: AMen lol
------------------------------------------
Lol well this could be handy in those Walking willy the one eyed wonder worm moments. More comfort for the jerky.

@junyo: obviously you have NO kids. I have 2 daughters (3months and 3yrs old)and I can get her (3yr old) to sit still and watch Callio or Thomas, and I kid you not..10-15 minutes later....OUT LIKE A LIGHT. Active kids need their energy channeled, then sit them still and they are out....DRUG FREE! Ritalin and ADD/ADHD are all tools and excuses for poor parenting, lazy teachers and education system. Its a lot easier to drug a kid than to come up with innovative ways to educate and stimulate them. This goes for parents too..

Now to the chair...hell yeah, where was this back in 81-82. That would have replaced that damn blue and red foam mat and the sounds of Crystal Gail. Ohh the memories. Even thought you light up my life is an all time favorite song of mine. Oh I miss New Orleans.

does anyone else see the similarity between this and the sensory overload/subliminal messaging system in The Island?? Brain washing our kids.......... on second thought, McDonalds has been doing this for years. Lets go for it!

When I was in kindergarten, I moved my cot next to a girl I got my first kiss from (and had my first crush on): Shivanee. Almost 30 years, and I still remember her name.

@OMG! Ponies!:
you could probably track her down - not a lot of ladies with a name like that.

although, the memory being from kindergarten, I can accept the strangeness of the name, but are you sure you spelled that right?

Everything in a nursery is at least a little broken. I see this thing lasting a week or two in the hands of a dozen kids.

@nutbastard: She was from India and I'm guessing that Shivanee is like Jennifer over there.

Besides, my live-in girlfriend wouldn't take too kindly to me playing gumshoe with a crush I've been carrying a torch for since the Carter administration.

@One2ManyCords: Dud, am I having a stroke or are you simultaneously a) dumping on big phrama mind control drugs, and b) pumping big tech mind control products? If I need a product to put the lil' buggers down why do I give a shit whether it's chemical or electronic? I was hyperactive as the next kid, and what i got at nap time was the latest episode of "STFU before I whack you" theater; simple fact is, vast portions of life are not entertaining in the slightest. Once you accept that kids have to be stimulated every waking second until they pass out, the battle's already lost. You can get your 3yo to sit still for a video? I'm pretty sure you outweigh a 3yo by a substantial margin, in addition to providing her food, clothing and transport. How is getting her to do anything a problem or something that has to be negotiated? Hell, duct tape her to a chair, I bet she'll sit still then. Fine, she'll cry and you'll feel bad, maybe the neighbors call the cops, and you get a record, maybe visits from a social worker, but in the end I'll bet she takes a nap without a video.

What was my point again? Oh yeah, you're right, I have no kids.

No dissing Big Pharma.

Thanks to a class action suit against one of them for their crappy drug, I've spent the last three months working 80 hour weeks (in Newark) reviewing discovery documents - as an hourly employee. $35,000 in 3 months' time.

Thanks Big Pharma! Your negligence has gotten rid of my credit card debt, lowered my student loan debt, and brought me halfway to the amount I need to get my legal practice started right.

@nutbastard:

Well since the iPhone uses a built in accelerometer (which measures the acceleration and gravity induced in a reaction) to recognize when you turn it horizontally to go wide screen, or for games and other 3rd party apps that react from the movement, I would assume that these functions would not work. Yet all the touch functions should...

"shivanee" sounds like "shiver knee" which sounds like a disease from the 16th century.

"What's wrong with your leg there?"

"Ah, I got a case o' shivanee!"

"You think that's bad? I got crotch rot!"

@LindsayJoy:
thats what i was getting at. in space, the only practical way to do it, i would think, would be to have a camera on the front that detected face orientation.

@junyo: Oh not to be mistaken... she gets the "latest episode of "STFU before I whack you" ". But I dont want my kid to endure what I did. Video is a last resort. I DO NOT BELIVE in kid negotiating....thats for rookies and dumb asses...you get those privilages at about ohhh 20 or so..LOL MY daughter actully listens very well, she just needs attention like any other kid. Its my job to LEARN what motivates my kids and what they enjoy. SHE LOVES Callio... so to award her with GOOD behavior or just to get her to chill for a minute while i clean or whatever it works, But most kids needs some sort of stimulus and or activity that INTERESTS them not numbs them. I belive its a novel concept called SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR KIDS... when you have one you will see....

not going to work. tv keeps you awake. even infomercials make your brain more active. Granted, they then make you stupid so you eventually do fall asleep, but still.

Mats? You kids had mats?

Jeez. They made us lie on rough carpet and breathe in the asbestos used in the school's construction, as it slowly deteriorated in the air ducts. If we were lucky, we got Nilla wafes and Hi-C while the teacher played her K-Tel records featuring cover versions of popular songs of the 70s, as performed by complete unknowns who sounded nothing like the original artists.

And if we were unlucky, we'd have to listen to the soundtrack to "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and eat soda crackers with our government-supplied orange drink.

@nutbastard: It would prolly think you were falling and ask if you were going to open your parachute anytime soon.

so you have a TV that is meant to help you nap? Isn't the first step of having a nap closing your eyes therefore making a TV useless. I'll still with the CD playing pseudo Irish lullabies.

@One2ManyCords - obviously you don't know how to parent. I've never resorted to TV to get my kids to sleep or for any type of positive reinforcement. I would hardly call sitting mindlessly in front of a TV stimulating. Try reading them a book, playing a board game or simply spending time with them. You'd be surprised at how actually engaging your children - getting them physically active - might actually make them sleep!

And yes... I have children (who obviously spend way less time in front of a TV than yours do).

My company is currently working on a pill that, once swallowed, will send special chemicals to the brain that can directly receive radio signals. This means the obsolecense of all screens out there and the "Direct-to-brain" of TV,Computers,Cellphones and what-have-you. My kids are NEVER bothering me again!

because kids that can't sit up shouldn't be deprived of a tv.

being that this is gizmodo, how long would it take to integrate a webcam, a computer, and bunch of webcam games.

@Arelar: call me up when its finish with R&D and ready for human trial....i've got 2 willing subjects....LOL

@nutbastard: Sounds like a job for NASA!

@OMG! Ponies!: its Shiva now - had a sex change.

bright lights this close to the childs eyes will only keep them awake. also sitting this close will probably cause eye damage.

@92BuickLeSabre: Once they install the feeding tubes and waste disposal unit, our transformation into Meklars will be complete.

Seriously, why don't they install the t.v.s on the back of little simple A.I. vehicles that drive around the house, forcing young Jimmy to get off his corpulent ass and follow the t.v. around for some exercise?

This will great for advertisers
Ad person 1: TV ads are not working, since everyone is skipping ads.
Ad person 2: We need train in listening to us.
Ad person 1: But how?
Ad person 2: We will getthem when they are young with this...mwahhhhhhhh
...

Companies' responses:
McDonalds: I'm lovin' it

MOTOROLA: Damn it, we could of use this for RAZR2, this would of saved us. RAZR2 should of dominated the market, why did we put even more ads

APPLE: No thanks, We will come up with aluminum + glass one using OSX in 3 years, charge it $999 per second of ad & call it our new innovation.

Tobacco companies: Smoke! (Family guy reference)

@nutbastard:

Well we can only hope that they prop an iPhone up in the Space shuttle window like they did with the iPod, then we can find out....maybe...

Or Richard Branson can tell us when Pigs can fly ;-)

@grpaul349: when you actuall READ my post and not the first 3 lines call me back...

@grpaul349: #

Oh not to be mistaken... she gets the "latest episode of "STFU before I whack you" ". But I dont want my kid to endure what I did. Video is a last resort. I DO NOT BELIVE in kid negotiating....thats for rookies and dumb asses...you get those privilages at about ohhh 20 or so..LOL MY daughter actully listens very well, she just needs attention like any other kid. Its my job to LEARN what motivates my kids and what they enjoy. SHE LOVES Callio... so to award her with GOOD behavior or just to get her to chill for a minute while i clean or whatever it works, But most kids needs some sort of stimulus and or activity that INTERESTS them not numbs them. I belive its a novel concept called SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR KIDS... when you have one you will see....
#
No commenter image uploaded by soldstatic at 10:27 PM on 04/09/08

man I hat people who refuse to read...lazy asses

@flyboy: @nutbastard: Y'all are hating on my kindergarten crush?

You are some cold sumbitches.

I'll take 2, please.

Willy my friend, we found a way to wake the boys up easier. Lying down!!!(Willy the One eyed wonder worm reference)