Here's something gross: I was given the world's largest Cheeto. So of course I had to eat it over the Optimus Maximus keyboard. Don't try this at home.

Because I am the token shameless jackass of the Gizmodo crew, I was the first person that came to mind when Rothman was offered a chance at the "World's Largest Cheeto." This one-of-a-kind object is more buoy than snack, with the middle completely unseasoned by cheese and tasting basically exactly like styrofoam.

But I persevered. It was stale and horrible. I will never eat Cheetos again. But hey, who am I to turn down a challenge of this magnitude?

Also, sorry for ruining your keyboard, Art Lebedev. It was in the name of science.