2020's Reign of Terror Continues With the Introduction of the Cargo Shorts Hat

Illustration for article titled 2020s Reign of Terror Continues With the Introduction of the Cargo Shorts Hat
Image: TOMBOGO

Ask fashion critics what’s the one summer item they’d love to see banned forever and more often than not they’ll tell you that cargo shorts need to disappear. But don’t fret, if you’re a middle aged dad worried about both pocket space and fashion faux pas, New Era has teamed up with the TOMBOGO label to create an alternative to cargo shorts: the Cargo Cap.

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In case you’ve lost track of time, which is understandable given a month’s worth of news happens every single day in 2020, we’re only about 60% of the way through the year at this point and if you thought the soul-crushing narrative was nearing its completion, TOMBOGO is here to remind us all that it will continue to get worse.

The label’s Cargo Caps are exactly as branded: standard New Era caps with an adjustable strap on the back that have been upgraded with snap on pockets that can be used to carry cash, a folding flip phone, your keys, or anything else you want awkwardly throwing off the weight balance of your head.

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Illustration for article titled 2020s Reign of Terror Continues With the Introduction of the Cargo Shorts Hat
Image: TOMBOGO

The pockets can be removed when not needed, but that defeats the purpose of the design and the entire reason you dropped $120 on reimagined cargo shorts you can wear on your head, right? What other possible reason could there be to spend so much money on a strapback hat? Even if you’re the type of person who’s capable of saying the term “hypebeast” out loud without giggling or immediately feeling the need to apologize for validating the term’s existence, the Cargo Cap is a hard sell.

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DISCUSSION

I truly do not get the animosity - or even passionate feelings at all - about cargo shorts. They’re just casual shorts with more pocket space.

That hat is great, too. You can’t really put anything too heavy on one side of it, but it might be kind of cool as a phone/wallet carrier. You can tip your cap everytime you make a purchase.