Apple and Samsung Can't Even Agree on Where to Sit in Court

Illustration for article titled Apple and Samsung Cant Even Agree on Where to Sit in Court

Apple and Samsung are gearing up for one of their largest legal battles to date, which centers around their devices looking incredibly similar. But before things can start, they still need to agree on where to sit in court—which is proving more complicated than you might expect.


All Things D reports that the problem is neither party wishes to think of themselves as defendants. Indeed, in a filing posted on Thursday by Samsung, the company explained that "both parties will at times be acting as plaintiffs and both as defendants, and it is therefore important that both parties are treated the same."


Instead, Samsung wants both parties to be referred to as "claimants", and requests that its lawyers be allowed to sit at the plaintiff's table during certain periods in the legal proceedings. Samsung explains that:

"Equal treatment of the parties with respect to where they sit while presenting their affirmative case will mitigate any prejudice to Samsung that may result from Apple being in closer proximity to the jury throughout the trial... It will also ensure that the jury does not draw any improper inference based on disparate treatment of the parties with respect to their positions in the courtroom."

All of which is extremely amusing, until you remember these aren't school children, but perhaps the two most important companies in tech. Get on with it, guys. [All Things D]

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Maybe they could have 6 jurors sit on each side of the courtroom, simply alternating each day except on Fridays, when each of the 12 will flip a coin to determine which side they sit on to a maximum of 8 on any given side. In the very unlikely circumstance that more than 8 coin tosses favor one side or the other, a reading will be taken from the intestines of a suckling pig. If this proves to be unfavorable to one side or the other, the judge over seeing the trial can grow a pair, tell who to sit where and shut the fuck up, because a flat, black, rectangle of glass is bound to look very similar to any other flat, black, rectangle of glass.