Once upon a time, a new Star Wars movie was coming out and everyone was excited. Not only was it a return to a beloved franchise, but it also featured a new adorable mascot! Some initially dismissed it as the next Ewok, but eventually the world fell in love. But now, that mascot, our beloved BB-8, has been replaced. And he’s not happy about it.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert opened its Tuesday episode with a tribute to BB-8's suffering at the hands of the porg, The Last Jedi’s wide-eyed puffin alien. Seems this new creature has stolen the spotlight from the perky little droid, and this pisses him off. Over the course of the short clip, we see news outlets gushing over the new critters, while BB-8 drinks himself into a stupor as he gazes over magazine covers filled with porg puff pieces.
I personally like to imagine that porgs are actually these devious, megalomaniacal monsters, and this is all part of their plan to take over the world. Much like the cubes from “The Power of Three” episode of Doctor Who, their goal is to infiltrate homes across the world with their seemingly unthreatening cuteness, only to then stage their attack and destroy us all.
Be prepared, people, the porgs are coming. And when they do, we’ll shudder at the knowledge that BB-8 tried to warn us—only we didn’t listen, because they’re just too damn cute.