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Brainwashing Goggles Help You Quit Smoking, Learn to Kill the Easy Way

Illustration for article titled Brainwashing Goggles Help You Quit Smoking, Learn to Kill the Easy Way

I've always found effort to be pretty unbecoming. I mean, working hard at something totally increases the worry lines in your face, making you look all old and ugly. No thanks! I'm staying pretty for life! That's why I'm definitely buying a pair of these Cyber MC brainwashing goggles.

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It's not really clear how the Orange Dream software helps you do things like lose weight, quit smoking or meditate, but the general assumption is that it flashes images in your face Clockwork-Orange style to reprogram your brain to associating delicious, flavorful cigarettes with something unappealing like third degree burns or mining accidents.

I don't care how it works, I just want to be able to sit sedentarily and not have to put any uglifying stress on my sprightly young body. Don't I deserve at least that? [Aving via Hallyu Tech]

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@phimuskapsi: I think it takes the average person 8 times before they have sex or quit smoking for the first time. Or is it the other way around? Or is it the sex that causes the smoking? And why have I never smoked? And furthermore, can I redact this entire line of questioning?