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Chubby Checker Sues HP Over Penis-Measuring webOS App

Illustration for article titled Chubby Checker Sues HP Over Penis-Measuring webOS App

Chubby Checker has sued HP over a webOS app, also called Chubby Checker, that measures dick size.

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Someone should probably inform Chubby Checker (rock legend) that HP hasn't actually made Palm devices since 2011, and webOS is now open source. However! Chubby Checker (singer of "The Twist") says Chubby Checker (the app) has done irreparable damage and harm to Chubby Checker's (human) reputation. Per Chubby Checker's lawyer, Willie (yes) Gary:

Despite numerous attempts to cease the "app," Hewlett Packard refused to dismantle the operation and, therefore, continues to perpetuate degrading and derogatory content directly linked to Chubby Checker. The "app" adversely affects Chubby Checker's brand and value and if allowed to continue, will cause serious damage to the Plaintiff's goodwill and will tarnish his image that he has worked to maintain over the last 50 years.

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Chubby Checker (person) is seeking half a million dollars in damage. [Marketwatch via The Guardian via The Verge]

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DISCUSSION

MAKE2 Mifune

There I was, in the office bathroom- resting my dick across the cold face of my phone so that I could size myself up with the Chubby Checker app- when I realized that I needed to get my shit together.