Debunking Scott Brown: Why There's No Way That Drunk Tweet Was a Butt Tweet

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Was Scott Brown drunk last month when he tweeted "bqhatevwr"? Whatever, the former Massachusetts senator says. It was just a classic case of a butt tweet. Really Scott Brown? We beg to differ.


For those unfamiliar with the tweet in question, it's long since been deleted. Fortunately, though, our friends at Gawker were able to get a screengrab before it disappeared:


So. Was bqhatevwr the work of drunken fingers or, as Brown claims, accidental butt communication? Before you make up your mind, here are the exact conditions that would have had to coalesce that night for Brown to be telling the truth:

  • The Twitter app was open when Scott Brown put his phone in his pocket.
  • A new tweet was open when Scott Brown put his phone in his pocket, or his butt opened a new tweet.
  • Scott Brown had a serious case of swamp ass, giving him a capacitive butt.
  • Scott Brown has a very bony butt.
  • Scott Brown was fidgety, allowing his wet bony butt to hit letter keys on his open tweet.
  • Like, very fidgety, so fidgety that his butt can almost spell the same word he had just intentionally tweeted a few times, but not quite that word. Like a drunk version of that word.
  • Scott Brown's butt hit send.

Decide for yourself! For reference, I sat on my iPhone with Twitter open and wiggled for several minutes and no tweets were sent. [Politico]