Dog Barks Deciphered; Yes, Dogs Are as Simple and Dumb as You Thought

Illustration for article titled Dog Barks Deciphered; Yes, Dogs Are as Simple and Dumb as You Thought

Researchers in Budapest have spent a lot of time analyzing dogs barking for some reason, and they've figured out a way to create software to decipher exactly what your pooch is saying. That's not to say that Rex is suddenly going to start saying "My, Joseph, you have been sitting around the house all day in a dreadful state. Don't you agree that it would be to both of our benefits if you took me out for a jolly stroll?", but it will let him say "Walk! Walk walk walk! Walk! Walk Walk! Walk!"


That's because, apparently, dogs have six types of barks depending on what they want or are doing. There's the "stranger" bark, the "fight" bark, the "walk" bark, the "alone" bark, the "ball" bark and the "play" bark. Knowing what these barks all sound like will allow software that decodes them to be built and, presumably, stuck in small devices on their collars. That way, when your dog barks, you'll know exactly what they want. Not that it's ever that hard to figure out anyways. They're just stupid dogs, after all, it's not like they ever want anything other than meat or a good scratch behind the ears. But hey, at least you'll know. [Tom's Hardware]


Shit, my dogs bark at anything and everything. They bark when a butterfly farts in Norway. No machine is going to be able to sort through all that barking. Yet I know exactly what they want 99% of the time just by being observant. When my Jack Russell wants dinner for example, he barks, then looks at me, then looks at the dog food container on the counter, then back at me, repeat. Pretty obvious what he wants, don't you think?

If he wants to play, he runs into his room and jumps up at the cabinet that contains his toys. I'd have to be freaking blind to not know what he wants.