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G.I. Joe Needs A Few Good, Hairless, Lubed-Up Men

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Two Joes get all sweaty and naked while smartypants Scarlett runs and reads Aufbau Principle. No really, it’s that bad. There’s no saving this movie from the hell it’s spiraling into – just watch the horror.

Yes she’s really reading that on the treadmill and yes they are really falling all over each other half naked and sweaty. There’s something for everyone apparently. I take back everything I ever said about this movie maybe being “good bad.” That is bad, bad.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is out August 7th.

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