Pardoning turkeys is a White House tradition which helps remind birds that Americans can both give life and take it away. America hasn’t seen a single case of murder committed by a turkey since the tradition began. And President Obama will keep that spirit alive when he pardons his last turkeys at 2:45pm ET/11:45am PT today.
Back in the olden days, Americans had to wait for the late editions of the newspaper to read about the President’s magnanimous decision to not butcher a turkey in the Oval Office. Today we have a YouTube livestream, which will broadcast the event live, reminding turkeys that they shall never defeat America.
The two turkeys up on the chopping block are named Tater and Tot. It’s unclear if both will be pardoned or if Obama gets to choose which one will be made an example of. Tune in at 2:45pm to find out!
Update: Obama pardoned Tot but said that Tater would get a pardon as well.
“I hope you have a wonderful time at Gobbler’s Rest,” Obama declared, referring to the University of Virginia site where the turkeys will be spending the rest of their natural lives.
Tot got a little restless after the pardon:
Getty snapped a clearer pic, though it doesn’t properly capture the cringing on a staffer’s face on the far left.
DISCUSSION
I want to see him say “Fuck it. This tradition ends now!” and then pull out a meat cleaver and chop it’s head off and then immediately pick up the other turkey and snap it’s neck with his bare hands.