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How Many Calories You Burn Having Sex, Eating Pizza and Smoking a Cigarette

Illustration for article titled How Many Calories You Burn Having Sex, Eating Pizza and Smoking a Cigarette

The best thing about the Nike Fuelband is that it can keep track of any activity you do. Yes, any. You know what that means, right? Let's find out how many calories we burn and how much Nikefuel we earn doing totally normal everyday things.

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For reference, Nike considers a 3000 Nikefuel day to be an 'active' day with a 2000 Nikefuel day being a 'normal' day. On to the numbers!

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  • Brushing Your Teeth:: 17 Calories, 47 Nikefuel
  • Eating Pizza: 8 Calories, 23 Nikefuel
  • Washing Dishes: 30 Calories, 86 Nikefuel
  • Sending a Text: 0 Calories, 1 Nikefuel
  • Shaking My Arm Up and Down for 30 Seconds: 9 calories, 26 Nikefuel
  • Smoking a Cigarette: 8 Calories, 21 Nikefuel*
  • Walking Up 4 Flights of Stairs: 7 calories, 19 Nikefuel
  • Taking a Shower: 60 Calories, 169 Nikefuel
  • Using the Restroom (#1): 2 Calories, 6 Nikefuel
  • Using the Restroom (#2): 10 Calories, 31 Nikefuel
  • Sleeping: 25 Calories, 79 Nikefuel
  • Masturbating: 82 Calories, 231 Nikefuel
  • Having Sex: 179 Calories, 514 Nikefuel
  • A Night Out Drinking: 463 Calories, 1303 Nikefuel
  • A Night Out I Don't Remember: 1129 Calories, 3320 Nikefuel
  • Being Hungover: 102 Calories, 292 Nikefuel

So of all the activities, walking up four flights of stairs is easily the worst deal you can get wearing a Nike Fuelband while going out and partying seems to score you the most bang for your buck.

* I know, right? But we checked this multiple times.

Curious about any other activity? Let me know and I'll try and test it out.

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DISCUSSION

No wonder they are calling the units "Nike Fuel" and there's no mention of what this thing measures exactly. It's all bogus. People are so obsessed with gathering points these days, they are willing to buy a bracelet that lights up and gives them points. Thanks Giz for doing this test, and showing how stupid this thing really is. Measuring activity just by arm shaking is idiotic. On this basis if Michael J. Fox would have one of these bands he would be world supreme champion of Nike Fuel (no offence Michael, it's just a joke, you are cool and I applaud you for all the great work you do, and helping to fight this horrible sickness).