The Future Is Here
We may earn a commission from links on this page

Hufflepuffs Keep Trying to Convince Us They're Cool

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The basic truth of internet-ing appears to be: If you want to make something cool, put it on YouTube. Either that, or Hufflepuffs just can’t let a damn thing go. There’s yet another Hufflepuff tribute song on YouTube, and this time it’s in rap form.

It turns out, Hufflepuffs spend a lot of time on YouTube trying to convince the rest of the world that they’re actually the coolest house on the block. There are arguably more Hufflepuff tribute songs than every other house- and yeah, that looks to include Gryffindor. It’s no surprise, they pretty much gather on every social network there is to assert their “awesomeness,” including io9's own comments section after our little “Fuck Hufflepuff” piece earlier this year. Let’s just say a lot of Hufflepuffs dedicate a lot of time saying they don’t care what anyone else thinks of them.


Because I’m very dedicated to my job, I spent the afternoon listening to a bunch of the Hogwarts parodies that have been released over the years. After crawling under the covers to recover from the overdose of lyrics that rhymed “school” with “cool,” I gathered that each House has its own theme of YouTube videos, which I will describe thusly:

Gryffindor: We’re super nice and honorable and cool...also we’re the team with Harry Potter and we will never freaking let you forget it.

Slytherin: We’ll fuck up your shit.

Ravenclaw: (Don’t bother there’s only like one or two of them)

Hufflepuff: We don’t care what you think...but please please please take us seriously.


You’d think Hufflepuffs would be resigned to their fate as “that house,” but nope...they’re going to be making YouTube parody videos until the rest of the world hangs itself with one of their bright yellow ties. So, in the spirit of making everyone else suffer as much as I have the past two hours, here are more Hufflepuff parodies that will last you until the end of your days- or at least until the next one comes along in like a week or two. It’s only a matter of time.