NASA: We Aren't Going to Be Consumed By a Black Hole, You 2012 Doomsday Imbeciles

Illustration for article titled NASA: We Aren't Going to Be Consumed By a Black Hole, You 2012 Doomsday Imbeciles

NASA has published another article debunking yet another doomsday imbeciles' theory: cosmic alignment between Sun, Earth and the huge black hole at the center of the galaxy will destroy planet Earth. Like, for real.

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We knew that the world isn't going to end consumed by a supernova in 2012., but doomsayers also say that in 2012 there will be a destructive alignment during the winter solstice between Earth, the Sun, the Milky Way's center black hole and the dark cosmic dust on our galaxy's mid-plane. This cosmic billiard, they say, will send us into the black hole, killing us all. Or something like that.

Oh-kay, so, never mind that this alignment happens regularly yet we have never been sucked anywhere. And never mind that in 2012 this alignment will be pretty lousy compared to other years. NASA goes all the way and explains why this doesn't fucking matters anyway:

• First, the winter solstice "does not correlate to any movements of the stars or anything in the universe beyond Earth. It just happens to be the day that Earth's North Pole is tipped farthest from the sun." Pretty simple.

• Second, there's no way the gravitational effect of the black hole can sucks us in. We are about 165 quadrillion miles from the Milky Way's black hole. And in fact, the closest we are to the black hole is on the summer solstice, not the winter solstice. These 2012 wankers can't even pick the right solstice for their dumb predictions.

• Third, "the sun appears to enter the part of the sky occupied by the Dark Rift every year at the same time, and its arrival there in December 2012 portends precisely nothing."

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Again, the fact that NASA has to waste time trying to convince these galactic assholes that nothing cosmical is going to happen defies belief. Their debunking can be summarized in one single phrase: "listen up you morons, the Universe doesn't give a damn about you."

The fact is that you, me and everyone else are just inconsequential pieces of matter with no relation to the stars and galaxy centers other than the fact that we are made out of the same matter than everything else. The world may end one day, crushed by an asteroid or devoured by our own very Sun, but that's not magically connected to any stupid calendar, Mayan, Aztec or Texan.

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We are special right here on Earth, relating to each other, not to any grandiose cosmic plan. And that's all that matters. [NASA]

DISCUSSION

"The fact is that you, me and everyone else are just inconsequential pieces of matter with no relation to the stars and galaxy centers other than the fact that we are made out of the same matter than everything else."

Pretty much, though it may turn out that is not the case since that is based on our current understanding of physics. And really, this statement is already not 100% correct since we all have gravitational pull which does have an effect (albeit incredibly slight) on literally everything else in the universe.

What with the LHC finding new particles and my belief that we can never really know everything about the nature of the universe, I'd say the future of scientific discovery is as open and exciting as ever. It could turn out that everything we do has a huge impact somewhere else in the cosmos and we just don't know it yet.