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Why must they always couch good, old-fashioned vibrators in granny-ish euphemism. It's not a "personal massager," it's a full-on, rock-your-world, buzz fest. This little program, for example, is supposed to "help you relax by relieving mental and physical stress." Wrong! It's supposed to allow you to send strange pulsing vibrations to your friends via SMS.

Want to know the best thing? This little program, written by reader Marc, is free. All he asks for is a donation. Finally—a piece of shareware other than my old copy of Commander Keen can offer me sexual pleasure.

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