Popular Idioms Translated to Actually Make Sense Today

Illustration for article titled Popular Idioms Translated to Actually Make Sense Today

When we tell the future children of the world that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, they'll stare at their iPad and wonder what the hell a book is. Does that old fart mean an app? When we tell them to scratch our back and we'll scratch theirs, they'll wonder why are we even talking to each other in IRL. And when we say close, but no cigar... well, actually even I have no idea why that ever made sense.


Doghouse Diaries came up with a cute list of popular sayings and phrases and idioms translated to make sense in the world of tweets and Facebook and technology and Wi-Fi and the cloud and so on. It's pretty good. [Doghouse Diaries]

Illustration for article titled Popular Idioms Translated to Actually Make Sense Today



I think pretty much all these suck. And most don't even need to be updated. I'm pretty sure everybody knows "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Lunch hasn't been replaced. Examples of crappy ones: The "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" replacement. Saying "People who live in small apartments shouldn't throw parties" just sounds like a normal statement, not an idiom. The former works as an idiom not only because we are familiar with it as one (although that helps of course) but because it's so obviously a very bad idea to throw stones if you were in a glass house. That isn't conveyed at all by the modern update. (Lots of people throw parties while living in apartments.)

"Close, but no cigar" is referring to an effort that was good, but not good enough for a prize (the cigar in this case, which used to be given as a prize in carnival type game stalls). How does "Close, but no WIFI" convey that? If you aren't close enough to pick up a WIFI signal, it isn't related to your effort, but rather your location. "Close, but no Achievement" would work better, although since game achievements have such a literal name, another updated choice might be better.

I just give this whole effort a "meh" at best.