Dear Readers, Well, two out of three ain't bad, I guess. I was meant to be joining Blam and the guy in the red hat, Captain Zissou oh yeah, Jesus, I think his name is, for a couple of days in Barcelona, but I have been struck down by a nasty, virulent, ectoplasm-producing cold, so I'm staying home. Never mind, while they go out and fondle sexy new phones in Spain's second city and keep you informed about the hottest cells and smartphones on offer this year, I shall see if I can break the world record for continuous sneezing. UPDATE: Oh, and to anyone who is speculating that J will play fast and loose with booth babes, I can categorically say that it won't happen—unless the booths are furnished with chicks who look like this.