Keep in mind that love isn't the only thing you want from your sex slave. It's nice, but the syrupy moments can get a little annoying if you just want to take a ride on his disco stick. That's why you should consider using the sex mecha Gigolo Joe in AI Artificial Intelligence as your model. Not only will he provide anyone with a night of sexytime, but he can also be reprogrammed to have any kind of manly personality his master wants. He can change hair color, and go from mannered gentleman to rough-and-tumble cowboy, in seconds.

2. Dehumanize them by reducing them to semen dispensers.

If science fiction teaches us anything about men, it's that they are basically designed to shoot sperm and nothing else. Sure, sometimes they have cute little thoughts in those brains of theirs, but let's face it: Those balls were made for milkin'. If movies like Hell Comes To Frogtown and A Boy And His Dog are any guide - and they are - it really doesn't take much to turn one of those uppity men into a diaper-wearing sperm factory.

Sometimes they need to be tied up and gagged, but most of the time they seem to like wearing the portable jackoff machine (see above for both techniques). These men are sex slaves, so it's important to remember that they are there for your comfort and service. But the great thing about turning them into spooge foundries is that you are doing a service to humanity. You're aiding women everywhere who want to get pregnant without having to resort to all of the more complicated and difficult parts of sex slavery.

3. Use collars, bizarre surgeries, or other physical alterations to make them helpless.

Sex slavery is also a way to express your creativity. For example, Princess Ardala briefly made Buck Rogers her sex slave early in the 1980s series, and she did it just by offering him a collar and threatening the Earth with extinction if he didn't have sex with her. Also, she made him disco dance beforehand, just to get him warmed up.

Science fiction teaches us that male sex slaves often enjoy themselves, unlike female sex slaves. Certainly that was the case with Buck, who had a good time making out with Ardala before he made his escape. Same goes for Lister from Red Dwarf, who is forced to marry a GELF (genetically engineered life form) in the novel Last Human. Though he's disturbed, he still enjoys sex with her:

Oh, my God, he was close to climax. She really knew what she was doing. Oh, he was so disgusted. Did he have no self-control? She was descended from hippos, for God's sake.

So in case you had any guilt over a male sex slave, just stop right there. Men will have sex with hippos, so it's no big deal if you are forcing them to have sex with you.

Perhaps the most creative form of sex slavery is depicted in Mary Doria Russell's novel The Sparrow, where a famous alien poet turns a human Catholic priest into his love toy. To remind the priest of his lowly yet exalted position, the poet has the priest's fingers cut all the way down to his wrists, so that his hands become a useless set of five extra-long fingers. I'm not here to condemn your wish for a male sex slave, but let's just say that might have been taking things a little too far.

Honestly, if you want to keep a man in line, you don't need to destroy his hands. Just do what Six and Three did with Baltar in Battlestar Galactica. Stash him in a velvety bedroom on your remote spaceship, don't let him wear anything but a robe, and make him have threesomes with you even if he cries. He secretly likes it.

4. Give them drugs or wipe their minds.

The good news for the soft-hearted among you is that you don't have to torture men a lot to make them your slaves - a little torture can go a long way, especially if you combine it with drugs or mindwipes. Think of it this way: When Dollhouse's Adelle DeWitt needs a little action, she just imprints Victor with a suave British, foxy personality called Roger. And then she has him visit her at a remote, hidden location every week for romantic dalliances. Look - she's a busy woman, and she needs some sex slave action sometimes. Luckily she runs the Dollhouse, whose specialty is mindwiped prostitutes. Nobody gets hurt, and everybody is happy. Roger likes it too!

You can also use your mindwiped sex slave as a gym workout. In C.J. Cherryh's classic Downbelow Station, warship captain Signy Mallory keeps a mindwiped spy as her torture pet, which also seems to give her a sexual charge.

Drugs are even easier than mindwiping. And they're good for the kids! In the Harry Potter series, love potions are all the rage - especially among girls who want to get some boy action. Harry is almost drugged several times, and Ron gets completely slaved when a potion turns him into one girl's lovemuffin.

Helping somebody drug a guy into sex slavery also wins you points in videogame Fallout 3. See how altruism comes up all the time when it comes to male sex slavery? It brings out the best in all of us.

Apparently Farscape hero Crichton doesn't get that, though, because he fights against his aphrodisiac-enabled enslavement to Grayza. She never should have let him tie her up for that sex game, since that was his avenue of escape. Remember: The slave should be the one tied up, not the master.

5. Turn your step-son into a love toy.

An unorthodox but common method of developing a sex slave is to just pick from your immediate but non-related family. The so-weird-it-was-pretty-much-SF TV series Profit shows that if you blackmail your stepson into having sex with you, it can be a source of awesome cars, money and satisfaction. Jim Profit's step-mother in the eponymous series forces her son to have a lot of sex with her and give her lots of nice clothes, and isn't afraid to tie him up and whip him for good measure. Here's a nice little video that sums up their relationship.

In the Metal Gear Solid games, Dr. Hal Emmerich (AKA Otacon) is revealed to have been his step-mother's sex toy when he was a teenager. Sadly, she lost control of him and he's doomed to have terrible relationships because all he's really good for is slavery. Let this be a lesson to you: Don't let your slave escape. Once a sex slave, always a sex slave.

6. Train them early to be love servants and "pretties."

As these enslaving step-moms teach us, nothing makes a better sex slave than early training. That's why the love moppets in Sherri S. Tepper's novel Six Moon Dance go to school for years to learn the arts of love and comeliness. If you teach men from a young age that they are there to be looked at, that they should keep their skin soft and their skills limited to the art of seductive dancing, then they become beautiful, pliant slaves for all time. Massage and oral sex are also good skills to teach early on. It's never too soon to learn tongue limbering exercises!

Another way you can train men to stay pliant and complaint is to discover some aspect of their biology that will keep them physically weak and sexually ready. This is the main lesson taught by L. Sprague de Camp in his 1950s novel Rogue Queen, where our human protagonists visit a planet ruled by savage women who have enslaved their sweet, small men. It turns out that they keep the men in line by forbidding them from eating meat, so they remain petite - except, of course, in the places where they need to be a little bit heftier if you know what I mean.

The Wheel of Time series describes a good practice for maintaining male slavery. Husbands give their wives knives that the women can stab them with if the men are displeasing. That's a good way to remind men to stay barefoot and ready in the bedroom! Also, the men in this society are often turned into kept men called "pretties" - much like the men in Six Moon Dance - and that's obviously another fine tradition for those of us who want our men enslaved rather than free to choose their sex partners.

I hope this set of lessons has been helpful for you in planning ways to dominate men sexually, and turn them into your pliant lovemuffins and jizz producers. Remember: Keep them down, wipe their minds, and don't let them out of your sight!