Screw It, We Asked a Neural Network to Predict the Election

This is a robot, not a neural network. But unlike a neural network, it has a face.
This is a robot, not a neural network. But unlike a neural network, it has a face.
Photo: MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP (Getty Images)

Flip on the TV today and you’re liable to encounter someone running their mouth about the presidential election. Partisan people howling about why their candidate is better. Supposedly non-partisan people trying to earn their paychecks by interpreting statistics. People, people, people. Who cares!

Advertisement

Historically, the success rate of prognostication for people skews heavily towards Doing A Shit Job. So, we thought, why not give the robots a chance.

Several of our most pressing questions about this contentious election were fed into Talk to Transformer—a neural network that runs off Facebook’s Megatron-11b language model database. This is what The Machines foresee in our immediate future (bold words are our prompts):

Advertisement

Will the U.S. Supreme Court rule on the election?

The Constitution requires the states to conduct their own elections and the court will not intervene.

In 2021, the Senate majority will be held by

Republicans and Democrats will hold 50 seats each. And Democratic leaders on Capitol Hill already have been plotting to delay confirmation hearings and avoid contentious votes.

Advertisement

The popular vote will be won by

the person who wins the most states. But as with many previous presidential contests, the most populous states have already cast their ballots.

Advertisement

The electoral college will vote for

president on December 19. The unusual move comes after thousands of protesters took to the streets in opposition to Trump in November. In a statement on the presidential site, Obama’s staff said he would continue to “stand up for our core principles and values.” They added: “As we prepare for the serious business of governing, we hope all Americans will continue to review the outstanding career of the 44th President of the United States.”

Advertisement

Will there be violence?

That’s impossible to say. I’ve never done anything close to inciting violence or threatening violence. And I’m not saying that out of vanity — I’m saying that because I genuinely believe that if you ask the right question, people are more apt to respond in the right way. But I will say that I don’t think you can ever put people on a pedestal — you can’t be aloof to the very real fact that people are fighting, sometimes to their death, for their freedom.

Advertisement

We will know the election results by

about 9:00 p.m. ET. President Donald Trump has already taken to Twitter, seeming to encourage Americans to vote against all the candidates of his own party. He also appeared to claim incorrectly that the GOP is unified against him in the race for Senate. Polls show Republicans currently leading

Advertisement

Great, thanks for weighing in, Megatron-11b. Lets see how you stack up against Nate fucking Silver or whoever.

Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// bgmwrites@gmail.com Keybase: keybase.io/bryangm Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

bkilburn
ArtistAtLarge

Magic 8 Ball says “Maybe