Tamago Egg App Is the App to End All Apps—and Your Life

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It's over, my friends. This is the end. Today—today I want to talk to you about Tamago Egg, the app that ends all apps. After you download it, there will be no need for you to download any other app ever again. It's game over.


Tamago Egg's premise is deceptively simple: tap on this egg one million times. One fucking million times. The egg starts to crack and something will happen at the end. What happens, you ask? This:

SPOILER ALERT (it doesn't matter if you look at the spoiler because you will want to play this anyway. YOU WILL WANT TO)

Image for article titled Tamago Egg App Is the App to End All Apps—and Your Life

That's it. So, What?

So why deceptively simple? Because Tamago Egg is no app. Tamago Egg is an existential trap. It's showing you the light, if you still have eyes to see.

Tamago Egg is a symbol of the aborted omelette that is your life. Our life. This app is a metaphor. A social provocation. Tamago Egg is a complete philosophical system in and on itself, the pinnacle of the thinking that went from Socrates to Aristotle to Kant to Kierkegaard to these handful of megabytes that will be handed to you—as if they were the stone tablets of Moses himeself—by the gods who live on top of Mount iTunes and Google Play. This app is all there is, the perfect summary of our modern world.

One million taps to crack a stupid egg. One million taps to get ten million points in Temple Run. Another million for texts, for mails, for Twitter, for Facebook. A hundred thousand million taps to call your friends and family. It doesn't matter where. At the end it's all the same. Tap, tap, tap. TAP! Tap your screen. Tap your keyboard. Tap your trackpad. That's all we do. Every single day.


You are spending your life tapping on all this crap for what exactly? Nothing. That's what. You get nothing, Sir. NOTHING. A fucking cracked egg. A tombstone with an epitaph that says "So, What?"

But then again, so, what?

p.s. Here's what Tamago Eggs tweets when you click on its "share" button:

I knocked on 866 times the egg! #TAMAGO




HOW did this get approved?! How does it not fall under: 2.12 of the Review Guidlines "Apps that are not very useful... or do not provide any lasting entertainment value may be rejected"