The Apple Lawsuit Rampage We'd Love to See

Apple's lawsuit against HTC made one thing clear: Steve. Jobs. Will. Cut You. And with all the patents they've got? Nobody's safe. Here's who's next on the subpoena warpath:

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #8,567,301: A Process to Cryogenically Microbead Pasteurized Dairy
Defendant: Dippin' Dots

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #5,475,939: Inexpensive Self-Assembled Home Furnishings With Names That Sound Like Lesser Norse Gods
Defendant: Ikea

Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #6,374,752: Constructing an Opulent Hyper-Futuristic City Without Having the Resources to Maintain It
Defendant: Dubai

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #3,405,356: Music Composition Utilizing Three Chords In Sequence and Repetitive Anti-Establishment Lyrics
Defendants: Joey Ramone; Iggy Pop; Johnny Rotten; et al

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #2,366,291: How a Bill Becomes a Law
Defendants: Congressional and Executive Branches of US Government; "School House Rock"

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #4,769,002: Placing "I" Before "E" (Excepting Those Occasions In Which Preceded By "C" Or When Phonetically Comparable to "A")
Defendants: Strunk and White; My Third Grade Homeroom Teacher; the English Language

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #9,753,482: Achieving Fame Despite Lack of Discernable Talent or Drive
Defendants: Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt, the Cast of "Tool Academy," et al

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The Apple Lawsuit Rampage Wed Love to See

Patent #1,749,682: Dogs
Defendants: Dogs

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

misterblonde
Mr. Blonde

So should Motorola sue...everyone? I would say the actual invention of the cellular phone to begin with pretty much entitles them to everything.

Or maybe Palm. Sure Apple also pioneered in the PDA market with the newton, even coined the term PDA, but it was Palm that pushed it forward long after Apple was done with it. And there is no question as to who started the whole 'smartphone' craze in the first place.

How about patenting actually having an 'smart' OS on a phone in the first place then? Surely many of the iPhone's own innovations would not have come about had it not been for Palm, and even MS laying the groundwork first.

Apple deserves a ton of credit for creating a new device that changed the game, in the same way the StarTac or the Treo changed the game. But that doesnt grant them exclusive ownership over ideas. Imagine if other companies could not make a flip phone? Or a QWERTY keyboard?

And they're whining about the unlocking method on HTC phones? How about the first company that thought to be able to lock your phone in the first place?!