The Presidential Debate Topics For Next Week Don't Even Mention The Possibility of an Earth-Cleansing Asteroid

Donald J. Trump kisses a “Women For Trump” sign at a rally in Florida on October 12, 2016 (AP Photo/ Evan Vucci)

The topics for next week’s presidential debate have just been announced. And they’re pretty grim. Depressingly, they don’t even mention the possibility of a sweet, sweet asteroid hitting Earth to finally put America out of its misery after 16 months of the worst election “season” in modern history. But a man can dream.

Chris Wallace, from Fox News, is hosting the third and final debate next week on Wednesday, October 19th, which will no doubt be a barnburner. Fittingly, the debate is in Las Vegas—the epicenter of both American boxing prizefights and the end of the world in Stephen King novels.

The topics?

  • Debt and entitlements
  • Immigration
  • Economy
  • Supreme Court
  • Foreign hot spots
  • Fitness to be President

It’s not clear what the Commission on Presidential Debates means by “foreign hot spots,” but we at Gizmodo hope it’s referring to an extinction-level event that means we don’t have to see Donald Trump on our TV screens anymore.

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Other notable absences from the list of topics for next week? Climate change, one of those things that’s slowly destroying the planet, but not in the fun way like an asteroid.

Get your anti-anxiety prescriptions filled by Wednesday if you plan on watching. Because according to NASA, we sadly don’t have any asteroids on the way.

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About the author

Matt Novak

Matt Novak is the editor of Gizmodo's Paleofuture blog