It’s back-to-school season, that special time of year when a cloud of malaise descends on America’s youth and beleaguered parents find themselves bombarded with ads for all manner of awful gimmicky schlock in the name of education.
You’re better off burning your money than buying any of these terrible back-to-school gadgets.
A pen that lights up when you whack it against other things — what a brilliant way to get your kid into “learning.”
Encouraging your kids to sniff things to improve their concentration can’t possibly backfire.
Prepare your little ones for real desks with a desk they can color all over. I’m sure the teachers will thank you.
Teach your kid about credit with a device that comes already broken.
No better way to keep a secret totally safe than inside a giant gaudy hunk of plastic.
Why let your children care for a living creature when they can have just as much fun with a sad inanimate object, eh? Comes with “life like” markings.
A classic design featuring the 45th President of the United States.
“She’ll love the fun reflection this glam locker decoration makes every time she gets her books.”
[Editor’s Note: It has come to our attention that no one in Target Sales & Marketing has ever met a teenage girl.]
Because what could be more fun than a little game of “catch the flying bladed object” first thing in the morning? A favorite among college roommates.
Turn your boring dorm ceiling into a “starry” sky, sounds great, right? Let’s peep a few reviews:
“Garbage. Does not at all spread like it shows on the pictures”
“Crappy. Not worth it”
“ Even in complete darkness, you cant see the actual stars on the wall, it just looks like a blob”
“I can’t even find the words to describe it. Trust me save your time and money”
Lose your dignity, keep your virginity.
You know, dorm room date night is way more endearing when there’s Pizza Hut involved.
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