Image: Gizmodo

Amazon has touted its “Prime Day” each year as a new kind of holiday, one in which the deals are virtually endless and anyone would be a sucker not to take advantage of them. But each year we learn that it’s mostly an opportunity for Amazon to offload the shit it couldn’t sell. We’ll be keeping you updated on all of the worst turds that Bezos and Co. hoped to polish this time around.

Dishwasher Magnet Clean/Dirty Sign

Advertisement

People, just look at the fucking dishes. Are they dirty?


Soylent Meal Replacement Drink, Cafe Coffiest, 14 oz Bottles, 12 Pack

Advertisement

Hey, it’s your digestive system. Do what you want with it.


Perky Jerky Turkey Original, 2.2 ounce bags (Pack of 12)

Advertisement

I won’t begrudge any lovers of Turkey Jerky, but if you call your product Perky Jerky and its not caffeinated jerky, you’re misleading people.


Health Plus Heart Cleanse Capsules, 90 Count

Advertisement

Nothing will ever cleanse your heart until you admit what you’ve done.


Predator Bundle [Blu-ray]

Advertisement

You get one and a half good movies for the price of two.


Bigjigs Toys Six Wooden Eggs in Carton

Advertisement

We regret to inform you that the lightning deal price on six wooden eggs in a carton has sold out. It’ll now cost you $15.39 plus shipping to thoroughly disappoint your child.


Killing the Rising Sun: How America Vanquished World War II Japan Audio by Bill O’Reilly

Advertisement

Just listen to the History Channel if you’re interested in exploitative and inaccurate historical narratives.


More Lighter More Comfort - ETVR 3D Upgraded VR Virtual Reality Headsets Immersive Large Screen Experience VR Headset

Advertisement

I promise that you’ll find this to be lacking in the areas of more lighter-ness and more comfort. It won’t be upgraded and it will not be VR.


$2 Bill 22k Gold Layered for $15.96

Advertisement

You save $3.99, that’s almost two $2 bills.


Selfie’s Singles Hazelnut Coconut and Caramel Single Cup Coffee, 24 Count

Advertisement

Is there anything more annoying than a K-cup coffee pod called Selfie’s?


Hack That Tote!

Advertisement

We know that everything is hackable these days, but don’t hack your tote.


BEARD KING - The Official Beard Bib

Advertisement

Okay, yes the Beard Bib has a certain practical function. We’re going to include it because it looks silly and on Shark Tank they called it a “Beard Diaper,” which is a far better name.


Apple Watch 2 Case, SUPCASE

Advertisement

Sup? Want to make your Apple Watch look like a horrendous Casio watch that was designed for “sportsmen”? Here’s a deal for you.