There is nothing better than a spy disguise, especially when it's a terrible one. Here are the best of the worst spy disguises on television and film.
It pains me to put Sydney Bristow on this list, because the major appeal of Alias was seeing what sort of wig and midriff-baring ensemble Jennifer Garner would pull off each week. But sometimes it felt like "wig" was the entire disguise.
No. James Bond is not a sad clown in a shitty circus. Stop this. No.
James Bond goes undercover as a Japanese fisherman... who looks like a tall Scottish man in a wig. What a terrible, horrible disaster.
Captain Kirk becomes Captain terrible spy when he decides to dress as a Romulan in Star Trek's "The Enterprise Incident."
Angelina Jole plays Evelyn Salt, a master spy who fools the government by dying her very long hair from blonde to black — and then later, in the great climax, tries to sneak into the White House dressed as a male aide. I'm sorry, but no matter how many wigs and fake noses you put on Angelina Jolie, she will always be Angelina Jolie. That is clearly Angelina Jolie. Also, Angelina Jolie hot as blonde, hot as brunette, hot in the Ralph Macchio-channeling disguise.
Lesley Anne Warren as gigantic boy with an exceptionally bulbous skull. Nothing to see here, people; this is just a normal looking 8-year-old pretending to be a working, adult human. Taken from "The Amateur" episode of TV series Mission Impossible.
Also from the Mission Impossible TV series is Leonard Nimoy pretending to be the magician and great man of disguise Paris, who dons some questionable disguises in the episode "Butterfly." We loved Paris, just not this look. This is bad, very bad. Bad.
The best spy disguise movie ever made is The Saint. We choose to consider The Saint not as a feature film, but rather an elaborate art project in which actor Val Kilmer was given gobs of money to run around pretending to be Val Kilmer in different wigs. Oh, and he does a variety of completely insane accents. All are marvelous and wonderful, and if we could go back in time, we would petition the Oscar committee to nominate every above pictured character for Best Supporting Actor.
But seriously, which one is the spy? Go ahead and guess. You'll never get it.