Murderer. Slave owner. Celebrated philanderer. These are the words that should come to mind when considering a one Mr. Nicholas “Santa” Claus. Just because you can see through that drunk jolly facade, though, doesn’t mean the rest of the world can. So it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Fortunately, OpticsPlanet has put together a state-of-the-art, high-tech Santa Stakeout Kit for all your hardcore Santa-hunting needs. The guy never stood a chance.
The kit—which can be all yours for the low, one-time cost of $6,500—includes everything you could ever possibly need to hunt down the diabetic trespasser—and a lot of stuff you almost definitely won’t need. The entire list of contents is as follows:
Camoflage Gear
Apparel
Backpacks
Hydration & Food Storage
Camping Gear
Hunting Gear
Bushnell 8MP Trophy Cam Night Vision Field Scan Trail Camera
Accessories
Brite Strike Technologies Tactical Balls White LED Rolling Devices
Night Vision, Thermals & Cameras
Carson OPMOD DNV 1.0 Limited Edition Mini Aura Digital Night Vision Pocket Monocular
There is no stone left unturned here. Tactical stocking. Heatseeking infrared laser. Thermal imaging camera. Synthetic mule deer in heat scent—not even Santa’s reindeer are safe from your vengeful eye. Of course, you’ll notice a distinct lack of weaponry here, but this isn’t about hunting for sport; this is about justice. And if you’ve got $6,500 to spare, a vivid imagination, and what we imagine must be a crippling sense of paranoia, this year might finally be your year. Good luck, Santa, and game on. [OpticsPlanet via Time]
