The Future Is Here
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Twilight Inspired Sparkle Sex Toy Heralds The Coming Apocalypse

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Is there anything creepier than sex toys inspired by the pasty cast of Twilight? Behold the cold sparkle Vamp dildo. I shudder to think of the werewolf line. And no it is most definitely NSFW.

The Vamp is from Tantus and well it sparkles....


But don't take their word for it, watch it glisten with an unholy sheen in the sunlight, just like Edward. Warning: video is not for the faint of heart.

And that's not even the best part. The Vamp can stay cold, like a *ahem* vampire's man-bits would be — or should be, I guess. No, I'm not making this up — this is what it says on the site:

Updated by popular request... Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.


So if "nuked the fridge" is the new "jumped the shark." Can "sparkle-cocked" be the new "nuked the fridge?" I can see it now... "oh man they really sparkle-cocked in that last episode." Make it happen!