A customer purchases an e-cig at an electronic cigarette store in Miami in 2014 (Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Are you going to the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this coming week? Well, prepare to have your liberties destroyed. The LIE-berals have banned all vape products from the convention floor. First the Democrats took away all our guns, and now they want to take away all our e-cigarettes.

Back in the good old days, the presidential nominees were chosen as God intended—by old men in smoke-filled rooms trading political favors like kids trading baseball cards. But now we’ve lost not only the smoke-filled rooms, but the vape-filled corridors of our hallowed sports stadiums where convention-goers are made to pay $9 for a Coke and can’t even suck on a Blu cig between stump speeches. Benjamin Franklin, our greatest Democratic president, is probably rolling in his grave.


What else is banned at the conventions this week? Well, for starters, selfie sticks—just like in Obama’s Disneyland. And the DEMON-crats have also banned drones. Another thing we can probably thank Obama for. (Because he loves drones.)

The most egregious ban? Guns. Can you believe it, they’re banning guns. It’s like they don’t want anybody to have any freedom at this thing.


If Bernie was the nominee they definitely wouldn’t be banning vapes at this thing, amirite? Iamrite.

[Democratic Convention List of Banned Items]


Matt Novak is the editor of Gizmodo's Paleofuture blog

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