We Couldn't Find Any Pumpkin Spice Energy Drinks So We Made Our Own

It’s October. Which means that one fried of mine just had her birthday and that other friend had a half birthday. Also, it means everyone is knee deep in autumnal colors and pumpkin spice frippery. Why? Because pumpkin spice is the order of the season and because we’re all exhausted bloggers who never met an caffeinated drink we wouldn’t chug.

We went with two separate recipes—each of our own concoction—for the drinks. One is just pumpkin pie syrup, seltzer water, and caffeine. The other is all natural, with real pumpkin, real spices, seltzer water, cane syrups... and caffeine. We also had Red Bull and vodka on hand for base comparisons.

Which drink, as judged by our guest judges, is superior? You’ll have to watch all twenty minutes to find out.


Senior Consumer Tech Editor. Trained her dog to do fist bumps. Once wrote for Lifetime. Tips encouraged via Secure Drop, Proton Mail, or DM for Signal.

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Video is not 20 mins as claimed in the article but 38:29.

For all the TLDW people: No actual decision was reached, all drinks were vile. This information was gleaned by skipping to 30 mins and wasting 5 mins of my life rather than 40.

You are welcome.