Screenshot: BBC

Twitter recently “accidentally” banned a whole lot of users for joining the service before they were thirteen years old. The users, now “old enough” to use Twitter “responsibly,” have been upset, and Twitter has a whole thread on steps its taking to bring these “not children” back online. But here is something that is important to consider. Children on the internet are always bad.

I know this because I was once a child on the internet. There was the time an X-Files RP Usenet banned me because my character was “boring, childish, and too perfect.” And the time I catfished a bunch of college boys convincing them I was pre-med at MIT, when, in fact, I was fourteen and in high school.


I’m not the only one who was terrible on the internet. Senior Writer Sam Rutherford said, “The only thing I remember is that when people asked A/S/L? The answer was always 14/f/Cali.”

And Managing Editor Andrew Couts made vague allusions to “shenanigans” that have me thinking he was living the Hackers-life while we were all just fucking around in AOL chatrooms.


There’s also some of you commenters, who have never met a bad joke or terrible idea you didn’t feel it necessary to put into Kinja. So go ahead—tell us the worst thing you’ve ever done online.