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Wicked Laser Sith: Dangerous and Probably Prone to Horrible Disaster

Illustration for article titled Wicked Laser Sith: Dangerous and Probably Prone to Horrible Disaster

The Wicked Laser's tale of infamy continues. The "laser pointer" was so powerful that you couldn't really use it without the risk of permanent blindness. So hey, how about jamming two together?

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Plusses

The $700 Wicked Laser Sith is dangerous and can only possibly be used for irresponsible, reckless activities. Shooting it in two directions at once, willy nilly, slightly singeing things in its path. Like its single-beamed brother, it looks fantastically awesome in the dark. And, since the original Spyder III Pro Arctic laser was built like a sci-fi tank, two of them essentially strapped together is even more industrially splendid. Although you may look like a nerd sociopath while holding and/or using the Sith, you'll appreciate its great, hardy design. Plus, you can light cigarettes with it.

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Minuses

The $700 Wicked Laser Sith is dangerous and can only possibly be used for irresponsible, reckless activities. Since it's two lasers, ass to ass, you can't point it at anything without simultaneously pointing at yourself. Which puts you at risk of blindness, if you push the wrong button. There's really nothing you can do with this laser that won't potentially blind someone or burn something. (I shined it at the floor, and somebody three feet away was complaining their eyeballs hurt.)

It has no practical function, whatsoever, beyond terrorism and mischief. If you own a Sith, you will likely end up doing something destructive and perhaps inadvertently illegal. It's a giant metal liability. [Wicked Laser]

Specs

Wicked Laser Sith Series
Price: $700
Max Power: <2000mW
Weight: 1.7 Pounds
Beam Distance: 6,856 meters
Battery Life: 120 Minutes

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DISCUSSION

theghostofjimmadison
The Ghost of James Madison's Rage Boner

I just tried to order one, but the product page says it's "Not Available."

I'm sure this isn't a publicity stunt and they truly intend to sell these things, so I shall be patient.