Gizmodo
The end of the week is nigh. You have worked hard and now it's time to relax. That is the spirit behind the new "Thank Giz It's Friday" roundup. This week it is all about gadgets that will help you breeze through the weekend with as little physical effort as possible—a guide to the ultimate in laziness. The way I see it, why should you do things half-assed when you can do things no-assed? Let us show you the way.
After you wake up promptly at 1 p.m., you will probably need to make the bed. Screw that. Selfy the Easy Bed can do it for you using a motorized rail system. You still have to push a button with it though, which is one step too many if you ask me. Might as well just leave it unmade.
The next thing that you will probably need to do is hit the bathroom. After all is said and done, the Neorest AH Tankless toilet will wash and dry your ass after use. Doesn't get much better than that my friends. Oh wait, yes it does: it also cleans itself and saves water in the process. That kind of laziness doesn't come cheap though. One of these beauties will set you back $4000. [Toto via Trendhunter]
By this time the dog is probably antsy to go out and play. If you had a homemade tennis ball cannon like the dude in this video, that would be no problem at all.
You may have noticed a little extra flab here and there, so it might be a good time to hit the gym or go for a run. Nah. Too lazy for that. I mean, why work for six pack abs when you can pay for them? For $4,000-$7,000 you can undergo abdominal etching surgery for that cut look. However, if you have a body like John Goodman, a six pack on a huge gut may not look right.
Yardwork on the weekends can be a real pain in the ass, especially if you have a big lawn. With Husqvarna's Autonomous Solar Powered Lawnmower, you won't ever have to mow again. Just program it to do your bidding and let it handle all of the hard work. It even cuts the grass short enough that you don't have to bother with bagging—and it charges itself when the work is done. Priced at around $4000 US. [Husqvarna]
While you are sitting on the porch watching the Husqvarna mow your yard, have a seat and take a load off. And don't worry about getting up. This chair can walk for you using a sophisticated mechanism under the seat. Unfortunately, I don't think many lazy folks could afford to drop around $23,000 on a chair. [Walking Things]
Alright, the chores are done and now it is time to eat dinner. Unfortunately, all of that microwaving has left you feeling a bit tired. If the thought of having to manually season your food is too much to bear, a set of these Movers&Shakers should do the trick. Just pull on the cord and they will dispense your condiments for you. Available for $9.95. [Baron Bob]
It's been a long, hard day—but just before you head to bed for the evening you get a phone call from your girlfriend. "We never do anything anymore!" she exclaims. Looks like you are in for a long one. Fortunately, you don't have to take it standing up. With the Cubic Pillow you can lay down, zone out and still hear the phone crystal clear. Available for around $17. [Strapya]
So how many gadgets is that? 9? Damn. Eh, it's Friday—screw it. I'm taking a nap.
Comments
I loved the first pic! She should just get a bigger stroller, like a Lark and they can both ride in style.
That Husky lawnmower might be money well spent if it can pick up dog shitturds. Can it? Please?
she makes soccer moms look bad..
Damn, I thought I was the only one feeling lazy today.
Although I really do need to stop procrastinating and do my work..
The Segway mom reminds me of this platform that they put on the backs of strollers for older kids accompanying their mother and younger sibling. They're actually a good idea, and allows the kid to atrophy into a submissive mush for the future.
I have a bad feeling that, given the next million years of evolution, there will be two separate races of human being. One that stayed active, and the ones that begin to lose most motor functions due to assistance equipment. Oh, and one will feed off of the other. Guess which.
@Munch:Screw that. It's far more fun to use an overcharged leafblower on the little canine nuggets of joy.
@riqgeez: Or even better, have the baby push her on a stroller.
If by pick up dog dodo you mean cut it into tiny little pieces and fertilize your lawn in the process, then yes.
@Kaiser-Machead: Well hopefully in the future, we'll grow bigger brains and have telekenetic abilities to move stuff around including our own asses.
That's it baby. Lean forward. Lean back. Lean forward. Lean back.
does anyone else think that the Mom is really setting her kid up to be ran over by the 10:15 bus!? I mean, that must a busy street with 4 lanes of traffic!
i so coulda used that pillow back in he dating days.
@OMG! Ponies!: Yea - it's fun for the first 5 minutes... then you're just blowing turds around the back yard.
I'd totally buy that toilet if I had the money. My toilet probably use like 4 gallons or something. It's ridiculous.
If she had any brains, she'd attach a rope to the stroller and drag that lazy little brat along behind her!
@shorty63136: as long as "the shit doesn't hit the fan" you are ok!
I have gardening to do and two bathrooms to remodel.
I will be employing as many labor-saving gadgets in these endeavors as I can, but I will be laboring no matter what. :(
@Munch: "Yea - it's fun for the first 5 minutes... then you're just blowing turds around the back yard."
And that's when it gets really, really fun!
In the first pic, the story would be complete if the hubby was pushing the wife in an SUV.
@Munch: It only gets boring if it's your own yard. If it's someone else's lawn, the fun can last for hours.
The tennis ball launcher is awesome.
Cute dog, too.
Why am I so reminded of many of the gadgets you'd see in those, "Fabulous World of Tomorrow!" film clips from the 50's.
Sweet, Zombie Jesus! I guess it's the fabulous world of tomorrow, today.
Why isnt the pink japanese blowjob machine on here????
"Man scores 1 trillion DeathRace points by hitting mother, child, stroller and segway..."
that guy with the 6 pack-sugery look like a tool.
@Kaiser-Machead: I agree 100%, that woman probably asks herself why she is fat all the time...
At least you're honest about the half-assed Friday afternoon post.
It almost makes me nostalgic for Charlie White.
Almost.
@strider_mt2k:
"I have gardening to do and two bathrooms to remodel.
I will be employing as many labor-saving gadgets in these endeavors as I can, but I will be laboring no matter what."
Don't you think it's a little insensitive to refer to day-laborers as gadgets?
@strider_mt2k: hey strider, as one of your contemporaries I'll give you a hand with the chores, but you're buying the beer and I get play with your radio collection.
Deal?
Telefunken goodness.
@HeyBeav: You're on, but my radio collection isn't that impressive, thanks though! :D
@nutbastard: Nono it's all me.
How else do you think I save my money for gadgets?
(Plus it's easier when I only have myself to blame for screwups. ;)
though it's not shiny and new as it was a couple years ago, one of those Roomba automatic vacuum cleaners could finish off this list.
or the BJ machine that nutbastard: mentioned would do some well appreciated sucking oo.
That auto-mower needs a motion sensor with turret attached to keep away the thieves. I'd be too lazy to sit there and watch it until it finished the job.
The beer throwing fridge should have voice command! That way you could be like; "YO BEER FRIDGE, HIT ME!" and BAM you got a cold one. lol
THE BEER LAUNCHING FRIDGE GUY IS A DUKIE?!
AHHH!
That lady (mother) pushing that child (baby) on a Segway, should be questioned if she has common sense.
Bitch on wheels.
as an athiest i am offended by lack religous sin in that articule.
as someone who makes up words I am gihrkke urln snazzo rongtol.
It takes me 45 minutes to mow my lawn, and sometimes I have to do it twice a week. That device could be useful, if only it were cheaper.
Damn I hate that first pic. Is it that hard to walk anymore? If this were my wife, I'd file for divorce.
Maybe the lady has bad knees, or is crippled in some way.
Maybe she's so loaded down with money and expensive jewelry that she can't walk.
lol @ the phone pillow.
America = Lazy
I'd take that toilet any day. Yeah, it's gonna blow water at my ass, but at least my ass will be sparkling clean when I make people kiss it.
No, but seriously, toilet paper and excessive wiping and help give you hemorrhoids.
BEER FRIDGE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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