Gizmodo
This is a tanning bed for cats and dogs. Also, it is a sign of the apocalypse and/or the downfall of the American empire. Because really, when you're tanning your pets, you don't deserve to have any influence over the rest of the world. You're officially an idiot.
Essentially, this thing is a sunshine simulator, making your pet feel like its laying out in the sun even when it's the middle of February. But do you know what else a pet can sleep in front of to feel warm? A heater or a fireplace. It's not like there needs to be a bright light there to confuse your cat about what season it is, and last time I checked pets don't need to tan, as they're covered in hair. If you purchase this you should officially lose your right to use currency and should forfeit agency over your finances to a third party with some sense in its damned head. [TrendHunter via BornRich]
Comments
Fruc, you took the words out of my mouth. The epic fail we see here is a clear indication that there will be a great reckoning upon humanity very soon. If you see women in ragged clothing trying to sell you portions of any particular street corner, get your Zombie/Jehovah's Witness/Skynet survival kit ready.
The only thing dumber than this are tanning salons for humans. :)
@frigg: Only if you're the one paying for it. My aunt has one of these in some little town in Minnesota, and the white-masked lobster women of Malmo put lots of money in her register to bombard themselves with excessive amounts of UV light.
@Kaiser-Machead: It's win-win: good for the white-masked lobster women of Malmo, good for their future dermatological oncologists!
You could probably easily modify this into a slow-cooker. Put your cat in, set it and forget it.
From the sound of the news post this isnt as strong as a human tanning bed. It would be just to give them a nice place to lay if they live in a a shitty place like Washington or Oregon. I am a vet student and I know that sunlight is vital to humans and animals not only emotionally but also in creating vitamin D (keeps your bones healthy among other important homeostasis effects). So no it isnt the same as sitting in front of a heater or a fireplace. Ever seen a reptile cage? Usually has a UV light, its not to trick them into a different season. Last I checked animals in the wild dont live inside houses 24/7.
@Kaiser-Machead: Maybe they believe that once they get tanned, their kids will turn out that way too.
What the hell...other than the fact that the idea is completely idiotic, would this even WORK if your animal has thick fur?
People who use tanning beds should be removed from the gene pool by mandatory castration/hysterectomy.
Just kidding, but seriously, people who tan on purpose are idiots.
I hope all of them get melanoma and die.
Darque Tan has been advertising that their beds "provid the body with Vitamin D" and imply there is a health benefit to using tanning beds. Right now they're being investigated by the Texas Attorney General's office to see if they are making an illegal claim.
Hope the company that makes this stupid pet bed never sells a single unit when people realize how stupid an idea it is.
Guys, I hate to be a spoil sport, I think my indoor cat could use this.
We live in perpetually drizzly Portland, Oregon, and every time the sun comes out in the winter, my cat runs to the sun spot to soak up the rays. I think she intuitively knows she needs vitamin D.
After a couple of weeks of overcast and rain (a not uncommon occurrance here), I think Ebony would appreciate a place to soak up the D.
That title is misleading. This looks like an infrared heat emitter, not an ultraviolet lamp.
So, does it have a Barbecue and Extra Crispy settings?
Are cats capable of tanning? This may be more appropriate.
[www.lunkersoutfitters.com]
As noted, it's not for getting a tan, it's for simulated sunlight. I guess if you live in a windowless cave with your pet, you might be stupid enough to get this. Or you could open your oven, turn the little light on and set it to 85 degrees. Use the rotisserie accessory for best effect.
I think their only real failure on this one is that they didn't coat that POS in gold and diamonds. I could totally see the Paris Hiltonites of the world dropping serious coin on a doggy status symbol like that. I'm all for enterprising people taking loot from those who are overstocked on dollars and deficient on sense.
There are 74.8 million dogs in America, and 81.7 million cats. If even a small percentage of pet owners buy this silly thing, that's a lot of energy going down the tubes.
Dogs and cats do need sunlight just like we do to produce vitamin d, and they can get skin cancer from too much sun just like us.
[www.associatedcontent.com]
Is this "Lion Cut" a before or after image?
[www.seespotruninc.com]
Then again, the mooks who made this thing, have got NOTHING on the idiots who made this "pet spa" cat washer/torture device. If someone put my cat in this, I would beat them endlessly.
+ Watch video
I'd never spend money on anything as silly as this, but I know my cat would love it.
does it come with a pair of protective eyewear?
i dont like my kitty put in harms way.
...but in all seriousness this is a shitastic waste of money.
Or an easy alternative is to have you cat sit in the window. My cat does that all day and can usually get toasty and warm even in the middle of winter (so long as it's sunny).
It also helps if you have bay windows and a nice window seat.
Adam, there are some things I wouldn't mind you NOT reporting on...this is a fine example.
I can see someone buying this thinking they can tan their junk with it!
See watch - when the light hits it - it grows
My cat has had one of these for years...
Goose-neck lamp on my desk.
Okay, it's meeting with universal ridicule, but...
It's not really a tanning bed but a sunshine simulator. It doesn't emit UV light. Rather, it looks like a pet-equivalent for one of those special lights designed to combat seasonal disaffective disorder. It might be nice for a senior or arthritic cat or dog, who has a hard time jumping up or down from the window sill.
So you could look at it as an alternative to drugs if you have a very dark apartment, without a sunny windowsill for your kitty to park in. A mild mood-enhancer for the depressed or moody pet.
It's funny because I really do try to make sure my moody blue Persian boy gets some sunny window sill time every day. Nothing like seeing a kitty happily splayed out in the open window, catching some rays.
Right, Miss Pansy?
[i73.photobucket.com]
There's a German version of the Pet Spa too. Who knew?
+ Watch video
@drewls: No.
Yeah, not sure why this is called a tanning bed. My cat loves the sun, so I can understand it being used for sun-type rays for indoor only cats.
Are the marketers of this idiots?
Before you know it we will have an epidemic of dog and cat skin cancer.
all this and no lolcats reference? oh, you folks are a restraintful bunch. kudos!
p.s. your dog still wants Ashley Dupree.
Unless I'm missing it somewhere, you haven't put up their product website (found it in the BornRich post).
[www.paradiseimage.com]
It's just another trap designed by Gordon Shumway.
Haaa! I kill me.
I went to the paradiseimage.com site, but no price is posted there. It's impossible to accurately measure the outlandishness of this product without the price.
@schnitzie:
I find it easier to just slip a prozac in the kitty kibble :0)
i find it funny how many people think this is ACTUALLY for tanning your pet. Everyone must believe every word giz says, cuz its definately a TANNING bed, and not just a well lit warm place for your pet to lay down.
Wow this is just terrible.
. . . but Kitty LIKES the light!
Uh, yeah.
So maybe you've noticed if you have a cat: when a beam of sunlight comes into a room, the cat will often lay in it and and soak up some rays? But maybe you live in an apartment without too much light, so your cat doesn't get to do that too often. So you buy one of these and, hey, happy cat.
Frankly my apartment gets barely any direct sunlight and I would consider buying one of these for my cat if it were reasonably priced. I'm sure it's not, though, since pet owners routinely get gouged on just about everything.
It seems a lot of people are of the "LOLOLOLOL JUS GO IN SUN" variety in here. Certain parts of the world don't get too much sun at certain times of the year. I'm sure if you had a pet cat it would be pretty happy to have this.
Sun? Tan? I know not these terms....
Seriously, take a second and actually think. Not every cat has access to the sun.
@Curves: burn?
Yes, this is a bad sign for humanity, Adam. Thank you for pointing out that most people in the world today, like yourself, are totally ignorant in matters of natural sciences. Or do you prefer your sunlight deprived, indoor pets to be unhappy and unhealthy? Yes, perhaps "tanning" was a poor choice of marketing. "Sun Lamp" would have worked better.
You could have redeemed yourself by blaming the lack of sunlight on something like pollution or The Global Climate Crisis.
If it's more than $50, it costs more than my cat. He finds the sunny spot on the floor all by himself, without even needing an electric outlet.
A kitty tanning bed = a legitimate reason to be attacked by Al Queda.
Oh, this if for a cat.
I thought with the attached floor pad, the little puppet theater window, and with a little clever yoga one was to tan another kind of kitty.
I am shaking with rage ...
methinks Adam has pet issues. so, what DID happen to all the cats in your childhood neighborhood, Adam?
"Seasonal alopecea" - not what I'd call "common", but common enough amongst at least some breeds of dog (and cat?) that it regularly gets a mention on a dog breed-specific mailing list I help administer.
'Course, I'm sure there are many people, perhaps most purchasers, who'll use this useless item to "spoil" their pets with frivolous luxury. It leaves me "shaking with rage" at the waste when we Gizmodians live our lives according to only our absolute "needs", so frugally and spare of any and all pointless, silly or luxury gadgets, only concerning our minds with important issues like "Does John Mayer Have Steve Jobs On Speed Dial?".
Yes, indeed, clearly we ascetics can use our spartan ways to clear our minds of all distraction and gain an accurate insight into the impending Apocalypse through observation of frivolous gadget abuse.
It shall begin with a kitty tanning bed, indeed.
[This post is bought to you by Pfizer's "Moralindig" - take one pill for a 15 minute "high" (and mighty) of overblown and overreacting moral indignation, without any nasty "perspective" getting in the way. I've taken one just now. Mmmm, minty self righteousness]
@Gary_7vn:
Nice redo of the cat washer video. The original with "Under the Sea" playing in the background was far funnier, but failed to express the hatred for cats that this videos creator obviously has.