All the Apple Event Rumors: Is It Only Rock and Roll?

This Wednesday Apple is having an event titled It's Only Rock and Roll, but we like it. I'm sucker for the Stones, but only rock and roll? Here is the complete guide to all the rumors and midnight ramblings:

Most likely

• New iPod touch: All iPod models have been discontinued in the stock databases, so new units are a given, even if they arrive to the shops later than expected. The only question is the feature set. Would it have a new camera? Looks very likely, as new cases pop absolutely everywhere. New storage capacities? It is a very strong possibility. A new processor, once again leapfrogging the iPhone? Perhaps new materials? We will see about that.

• New iPod nano: Like the iPod touch, the nano will see an update, adding a camera to it. We still don't know if anything physical will change, but it's not likely, looking at the multiple cases.

• New album features: This one was confirmed by the record labels—although Apple always has the last word on what goes into each release. It seems they have been jointly developing new interactive features to encourage the purchase of full albums. The project is called Cocktail, and it's aimed to "reproduce the album experience." It may be new glorified PDF-like documents, or some interactive stuff. I don't know about you, but if it's something I can't touch, I can't get no satisfaction.

Likely

• New iPhone OS update: Knowing that a new iPod touch is coming, and about the new features in Cocktail, a new iPhone OS 3.1 update will probably be a must too.

• The end of the classic iPod: Looking at the sinking sales of the big honky tonk iPods, this may be their end, hopefully getting replaced by a 64GB iPod touch. As much as I loved it—had every single model until the iPhone came—it's time to leave them in the memory motel.

Unlikely

• Apple tablet: We had high hopes for this one, but unless Apple decides to pull a rabbit out of their magic hat at the last second, it looks like the the fabled Apple tablet is not going to happen this time. You can't always get what you want, but you can get what you need.

• Beatles remastered: As much as I want this to happen—and even while tomorrow The Beatles Remastered box sets will be released—I don't think the Beatles on iTunes is on the cards. This rumor comes again and again, every single year, and it never gets realized. This year, look at the invitation. There is no way that Apple would have used the Rolling Stones if the Beatles were coming to the iTunes Music Store. In fact, if sounds like Steve's way of saying: "Fuck it, we need no bloody Beatles, innit?"

The One More Thing

• You know us and our sympathy for the devil: We are all still holding our breaths to see Steve back in the show and tell game. If he doesn't, we are going to pass out. So let's spend the day together, Mr. Jobs.

Click to viewPhoto by Brad Immanuel