Sometimes adding functionality makes things less useful. Does my candy really need to be both Sweet and Tart? No. Just like my drinking straw doesn't need to also be an ice cube.
This is the Barbuzzo Ice Straw Tray. You insert one the the four included plastic straws (genius given that the form has six straw slots) into the holding nubbins, fill the tray with water, and freeze it.
And that's it. You now have a straw covered in ice that will keep your drink cold while you fuse your lips to the sipping end since the entire straw is covered in ice. I could maybe see the value of freezing trays of Jack Daniels straws for a house party, though I generally prefer to just bite the ends off of frozen Twizzlers if I'm in need of novelty straws at a soirée. $10 from Amazon.