GOP presidential candidate and fart-pill shill Ben Carson guest-blogged on Recode to promote his new prescription for cybersecurity: “Heal + Inspire + Revive.” The plan is a mushy combination of buzzwords and contradictions.

Advertisement

Carson’s “prescription” (GET IT??) is to start a whole new government agency for cyber-security, similar to NASA:

Just as we established the National Aeronautics and Space Administration to coordinate and focus the U.S. space program, we must create a national initiative to organize and streamline our efforts to secure America’s online presence. That is why I will establish the National Cyber Security Administration (NCSA).

Except, wait! Sure, it’ll be a new government agency—but it won’t be a bureaucracy:

Advertisement

The NCSA is not a new federal bureaucracy. On the contrary, it is a consolidation and unification of the countless and often redundant programs, initiatives and offices which operate disjointedly throughout the government. This new administration would streamline our efforts and eliminate the stovepipes that make America’s online efforts so ineffective.

Note that Carson offers no roadmap for consolidation or examples of redundancies he plans to eliminate.

Carson’s NCSA will be separate from the military, except when it’s not:

Sponsored

Such an agency must be kept separate from the military, but work with them when national security demands it.

Who will work for the NCSA? Probably President Ben Carson....and YOU, a regular at-home computerhead:

Advertisement

The NCSA will create a unity of purpose, not just across federal agencies, but in cooperation with ‘We the People.’ This will be America’s venue to bring together experts and lay persons towards a common goal of securing the country, from the individual user at home to the highest government official.

In some other, better world I’d say that it’s weird to see a Republican candidate so unconcerned with alienating base voters who care about “small government” that he’s proposing establishing a whole new agency. But we live in this one, and if this plan doesn’t land it’ll probably be because it doesn’t mention how to destroy ISIS via hacking.

Advertisement

Screenshot: BenCarson.com