God Can't Get His Credit Report From Equifax

Dealing with credit agencies can be a real pain. A lot of times it feels like the credit bureaus just don't care about regular folks like you and me. We're not alone—turns out, even God can't get an accurate credit report. Because Equifax doesn't believe in Mr. God Gazarov.

The New York Post brings us the story of Brooklyn businessman God Gazarov. A Russian immigrant named after his grandfather, Mr. Gazarov has repeatedly tried to get his credit information from Equifax. The company won't give him a credit report, because its database rejects "God" as a first name.

You heard it here, folks. Equifax rejects the existence of God (Gazarov).

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Clearly, Mr. Gazarov exists—despite Equifax claiming God has no financial history, the other two agencies, TransUnion and Experian, give him a credit rating that borders on divine. That's not enough evidence for Equifax's eternally doubtful database, it seems.

"It's extremely frustrating," Gazarov told The New York Post's Selim Algar. "I worked hard to get good credit to look good to lenders and this happens."

Anyone who's tried to sneak a nickname past Facebook's name-nanny knows the frustration of a rigid database. Now imagine if that database was holding your good credit hostage. Or denying your very existence.

Mr. Gazarov has been pleading with Equifax for more than two years to get the issue resolved, to no avail. Now he's taking the company to court.

You have to feel bad for the lawyers who will represent Equifax. Imagine having to cross-examine God in the courtroom. We'll be curious to see what happens come judgment day. [NY Post]

Image: Shutterstock / George Muresan