Image: AP Photo/Josh Reynolds

Jason Segel—actor of How I Met Your Mother, Freaks and Geeks and Muppets fame—is in a unique position: he’s the only person alive that can save one very strange man from a lifetime of gastrointestinal discomfort.

The YouTuber, who goes by the pseudonym Dog Shit, uploaded a video yesterday called “I Eat a Picture of Jason Segel Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me. Day 1.” Everything you need to know about this bizarre ruse is contained in the title, and true to form, today Mr. Shit uploaded “I Eat a Picture of Jason Segel Everyday Until He Eats A Picture of Me. Day 2.” Both are short, wordless meditations on our uniquely human capacity for gainless self-destruction.

Please Jason. Stop the madness. You’re literally the only one who can.