Photoshop Contest: Put Bizarre Crap in This News Anchor's Hands

As you may remember, yesterday the internet happened upon this befuddled newscaster who spent an entire live broadcast clutching a stack of paper instead of his usual iPad. Naturally, hilarity ensued, and oh, how everyone laughed and laughed. But let's be honest, it could have been much worse! Why, take any of these potential scenarios from the newest brilliant single-serving Tumblr Newswanchor.tumblr.com.

Now it's your turn to put something hilariously inappropriate in his hands. Try to keep it PG, kids.

Submissions will be graded on originality, technique, and laffs; you'll have from now until 11:59PM this coming Tuesday, September 24 to submit your entry in Kinja down below. We'll announce the lucky winners that Wednesday. Until then, best of luck to you all.