10 Gadgety Reasons Why I Love America

Illustration for article titled 10 Gadgety Reasons Why I Love America

With an unpopular war going on, an unpopular president in the White House and an economy in crisis, sometimes we struggle to remember what makes this country great. July 4th should be a time to reflect on the positives-a day to celebrate our independence and recapture our patriotic spirit. For some of us, that may be easier said than done. However, I am confident that the following gadgets will serve as a reminder, to all nerds, why we live in the best country in the world. And if you are still not convinced, just remember-you could be living in Canada.

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Freedom of Speech:

Illustration for article titled 10 Gadgety Reasons Why I Love America

Nothing says "America" like making our political leaders hump in action figure form. Start your own freaky Beltway love triangle involving George and Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, Uncle Sam, John and Jackie Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Benjamin Franklin (horn-dog that he was) with these Political Posers action figures. They even threw Jesus in for some totally inappropriate fun. Available for $8.88 each. [Prank Place]

Illustration for article titled 10 Gadgety Reasons Why I Love America

Don't like how Bush is handling things in the White House? Move him into another white house (the kind made from porcelain). You will knock him down a few pegs with a really dirty job. The George Bush toilet brush is available for $16.95. [Baron Bob]

Illustration for article titled 10 Gadgety Reasons Why I Love America
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Hillary may be out of the race, but you can remember her campaign for the nation's highest office every time you crack open a walnut. The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker is available for $19.99. [Teptronics via Link]

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Knives With Guns In Them:

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The G.R.A.D. features a .22 caliber gun hidden in a knife for people who don't think their enemies can ever be too dead. Second amendment! Wooo! Available for $699. [GunsAmerica (how appropriate) and Link]

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Huge Grills and Competitive Eating:

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It is no wonder that all of the grills out there vying for the title of "world's largest" can be found in the United States. The "Big Taste Grill" is 65 feet of meat-cooking mayhem. With surface area enough for 750 brats at a given time, its max output is 2,500 bph (brats per hour). [Big Taste Grill]

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It's not a gadget but come on...competitive eating. If that doesn't scream America I don't know what does. Seriously-they have their own federation, like wrestlers. [IFOCE]

Texas:

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Texas knows how to do America right-big and in your face. Case in point, the world's largest video screen is set to go up in the new Cowboys stadium next year. When it is finally installed, it will measure a whopping 11,200 square feet. [Link]

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Excess and Laziness:

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America is obsessed with acquiring wealth to live lavish, lazy lifestyles. Plumbing service provider Roto-Rooter had America pegged when it ran a promotion last year with a pimped-out toilet featuring a 20-inch LCD, DVD player, XBox 360, iPod with toilet paper stereo docking station, TiVo, Avanti refrigerator with beer tap, a bike pedal exerciser and cup warmer/cooler. [Link]

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Over-the-Top Consumerism:

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One of the most interesting things about America is that companies will try and sell us anything-and we will be right there, waiting at the check-out lanes with open arms and open wallets.

Star Trek- and MLB-themed urns are a perfect example of this phenomenon. Major companies and franchises put their names on products, and we are so enamored we want to take them to the afterlife. [Eternal Image via Link]

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What could be more American than a pair of motion-activated, singing, vibrating breasts? How about a pair of motion-activated, singing, vibrating breasts that you can record your own song on? Indeed, "Jingle Jugs for Life" has an option to record your own message or song. And, in a truly American move, they have added a pre-recorded breast cancer awareness message on each product to keep the feminists at bay. Available for $39.99 (original version) and $49.99 for breast cancer awareness version. [Jingle Jugs and Link]

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In the end, I can only hope that this little gadget-filled journey across our great nation has helped you understand just how lucky you are to be an American. So, get out there, cook up some BBQ, drink some beer and shoot illegal fireworks wildly into the air. It's the American way.

DISCUSSION

boofinch
BooFinch

@bbfreak:

No offense taken. The article was just in all light heartedness. Like I said before. I think the US is a great country. Although being the greatest all depends on where your own personal roots are. For me I think thank Canada is the greatest country..... somewhere there are a couple Billion Chinese people who feel their nation is the greatest. It's all about location ;0)

Just few points though... also just light hearted/ semi serious. Like the US there are areas that are more and less diverse in Canada. In my part of bc it feels like our largest population is East Indian and korean. Caucasians are a minority right in my area. There are parts that are very very diverse.

Concerning the article... There is definitely bias there. As an article written by somebody from the USA would be, however I don't believe the size of the population comes into play as it it is all about over-all percentages and statistics. So if the numbers were smaller. Say the USA had 10 people total and canada had 5. Out of the 10 americans 3 had a good standard of living, whereas in Canada 4 people had a good standard of living.... percentage ways Canada would be considered to have a better standard over all... regardless of the number of people in the country.

But... back to my original point. This wasn't meant as a feud starter ;0) I don't want America to do poorly. I want America's economy to turn around and to do well. We're pretty closely tied together and if you do poorly... sooner or later it will have great impact on our economy.

Happy fourth of July you wonderful football playing, burger eating, gadget loving, soaring eagle, flag waving, fireworks lighting people.