Tor

You might not be able to afford proprietary software for protecting your anonymity online, but you can afford Tor, the hyper-secure software suite that's free to use. Hell, its probably better than whatever the CIA is using these days. Browse, download, and chat knowing that you won't be leaving a trail of 0s and 1s for the bad guys to follow. Free

Sectera Edge Secure Smartphonephone

Secure communications are key for any spy and if the Sectera Edge is good enough for the President, it's good enough for you. Having a Type 1 encryption provided by a hardware module will help prevent everyone from Julian Assange to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad from getting up in your shit. And it's GSM, so you can use it anywhere in the world. $3000

See Through Camera

Ideally, you'd get your hands on a Prism 200, a device which can see through walls. But unless you're Warren Buffett, you probably can't afford that. You'll have to settle for this camera which can see through clothes, among other things. At least you'll know if someone is concealing anything of interest.$140

Real-f 3D Photorealistic Mask

While the 3D mask may not fool many people if you encountered them in real life, this photorealistic mask, which is printed from a 3D scan of someone's face, could help you go unnoticed in a dark area or a locale under camera surveillance. $4000

Ballpoint Pen

Being a spy is a dangerous job. Your life will be threatened numerous times. You need a truly inconspicuous killing tool. Thus, I present the ballpoint pen. You doubt me? Need I say more?$5

Spy Kids 3D

Consider this your training bible. Just don't forget your glasses. $8

Image via Shutterstock/Zhukov Olev