Dave of Dave's Insanity Sauce fame has released a hot sauce that comes in an adjustable bottle. It actually works by having two compartments, one with hot sauce and one with mild sauce. Twist the nozzle at the top to determine what hot sauce mixture you want, kind of like a spicy fuel mechanic. Your wife's bland cooking has never tasted so good.
The World's First Adjustable Heat Sauce [coolest gadgets]