College Kids Hope Their Hoverboards Catch Fire So They Can Finally Feel Something

Hoverboards are getting banned on college campuses all across America over safety concerns. And students aren’t too happy about it. Frankly, they don’t mind if their hoverboard catches fire. In fact, some are praying that their own boards do just that—if only so they can feel something. Anything.

“Segways and things like that are a pretty stale, pretty boring concept, but once you add the element of fire, it makes it more of a thrill seeker thing,” one student at the University of Alabama recently told The Crimson White.

“Riding it, knowing it could catch fire at any moment, makes it more interesting,” the student continued in what was either a clear cry for help or the reasonable words of a young man bored with the world and lacking any real outlet for his testosterone-addled desire to see death and destruction.


The student explained that hoverboards were popular precisely because they were dangerous and not “white guy-ish” and “sweater vest-ish.” Admittedly, wanting to get your kicks by seeing shit explode is pretty “white guy-ish.”

[The Crimson White]

Gif made from YouTube

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Literally everything about this post is depressing. How did we get to here?