Death Ray Machine Does What Jesus Could Not

Illustration for article titled Death Ray Machine Does What Jesus Could Not

For this week's retromodo installation, we're looking at the Death Ray Machine, (awesome name). Apparently, the device was put together by a Cleveland scientist, and its abilities were only showcased in a one time display to members of the National Inventors' Congress at Omaha, Nebraska. The Death Ray Machine was witnessed to instantly kill dogs, cats and rabbits once its beam shone on them.


Blood was reported to spill from the deceased, unfortunate test animals, but it was instantly turned to water. Blood to water—not even Jesus could do that. The officials that attended were so in awe of the dazzling power, they prevented any further development until the Death Ray Machine could be put to a useful, defensive purpose by the government. No one knows what became of the Death Ray Machine, but we think it just may be the scariest vaporware ever. [Modern Mechanix via Boing Boing]


Actually these sort of things are already deployed in Iraq. They say it's "non-lethal" but that's what "they" said about Thomas Alan Swift's Electric Rifle, aka the Taser.

And who knows what would happen if they they turned the dial up to eleven?

Aide: Mr. President, thousands of demonstrators are outside, they are demanding that you end martial law, restore the Constitution, and allow Barack Oboma to assume the Presidency. What are your orders sir?

Shrub: Heh heh, the Constitution is just a damn piece of paper. Fry them bastards, smoke em out of their holes! heh heh.

Aide: Yes, sir! Right away sir! Glad to sir!