Dick Cheney Has No Pulse

Illustration for article titled Dick Cheney Has No Pulse

I'm not making a tired funny! Dick Cheney's new implant—a ventricular assist device—needed 'cause his heart is screwed, "leaves most recipients without a pulse because it pushes blood continuously instead of mimicking the heart's own pulsatile beat."


Of course, this presumes he had a pulse in the first place. (I know, I know, that's the bad punchline you were waiting for.) [NYT via Twitter, Image: NYT]



James Dyson: I was tired of the incessant beating of the heart, so I did away with it.

Now the Dub/Glub sound is gone with no loss of bloodflow.

I'm not sure what problem I just solved here, but I know you will want to buy this.