Having trouble with the ladies? Your personality isn't to blame, I'm sure, as the fairer sex loves it when you describe funny LOL CATS images and talk about how Ubuntu Linux would take over if people would just give it a chance. No, it's got to be the lack of facial hair. Everyone knows that a thin goatee is the fastest route to a woman's heart, and if you were cruelly dealt a babyface in the card game of genetics, then what chance have you got?
Japan to the rescue! Thin paste-on facial hair for the beardically-challenged, available from $15 to $28. You'll be mayor of Ladytown in no time, I'm sure. With a winning personality like that, how can you lose?