Something is rotten in the Village of Abacoa condominiums. There's dog poop everywhere. Everywhere. So the condo council's taking the only option: mandating poop and dog DNA matching for every offending specimen, with a $1,000 fine. Lady Liberty weeps.
Some of the condo's residents are up in arms over the policy, which would require a $200 DNA testing fee for their pups in case they prove to be poop rule violators: "This is nuts. They will be testing all kinds of poop. Is this America?," lamented one dweller. But come on—there's dog shit all over the place, fires back the condo managers: "The smell is disgusting. Residents are embarrassed to have company. Dog crap is everywhere." And they mean business. Beyond the fine, miscreant dogs will be confiscated. Confiscated. What sort of dystopian condominium is this?