From College Humor, a handy guide to knowing why that text you just sent has gone unrequited. But don't worry! I'm sure it applies to everyone but you. Well, you and me. [College Humor]
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Or in my case, I am not going to return your text if it takes more than 5 characters to do so; I will just CALL you back, except that I am not calling you back since I am at a super cool awesome party to which you were not invited.