France Gets New Intercontinental Ballistic Missile, World Exclaims "Merde!"

Click to viewWhat you see here is the new M51 nuclear ballistic missile literally getting out of the swimming pool. For some reason, the French military—like everyone else, really—thinks that it is a good idea to spend five billion dollars developing new and more effective methods to destroy the planet as the world itself keeps going to hell on its own. Because what humanity needs right now is a Mer-Sol-Balistique-Stratégique missile, oh le missile, loaded with six independently targetable TN 75 thermonuclear warheads with "penetration aids" (yes, they are French. Pervs).

Illustration for article titled France Gets New Intercontinental Ballistic Missile, World Exclaims Merde!

The three-stage solid propellant engine of the M51 is derived from the Ariane 5 rocket, weights 57 tons and has a range of 4,970 miles, guided by inertial and star position systems. It would be delivered in 2010 to their Triomphant class submarines and, hopefully, they will get rusty in there. Or maybe not.

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And, it's ribbed for her pleasure. Ah, the French. Always thinking ahead.